kind of gas coming from the sewer. My tree! So, what's the matter with you? Look what you've done to my tree! It was an ugly tree anyway. At least it's out of its misery. - Dad's gonna flip out. - Nobody's gonna flip out. We're gonna have a wonderful Christmas. What the hell do you want? I have a delivery for Clark W. Griswold. I was supposed to deliver it yesterday... ...but it fell between the seats and I didn't see it. I'm sorry. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. - I can't believe it. - What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse? It's from my company. Your bonus. My bonus. Open it, Clarkie. Open it. I hope it's a fortune. I bet you do. I was afraid... Are you going to bawl all over it, or are you gonna open it? I was gonna wait till tomorrow to tell you all this, but what the heck? With this bonus check, I'm putting in a swimming pool. That's it. That's the big one! Open it! I'm sorry if I've been a little short with everyone lately. I've been waiting for this bonus. To make sure the pool goes in when the ground thaws... ...I had to lay out the money in advance. Until this arrived, I didn't have enough to cover the check. Tear the sucker open, Dad. Drum roll. If there's enough left, I'll fly you all down to help us dedicate it. I can't swim, Clark. I know that, Eddie. What's wrong? It's bigger than you expected? Smaller? What is it? A one-year membership in the Jelly-of-the-Month Club. That's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year. That it is, Edward. That it is, indeed. I'm sorry. If this isn't the biggest bag-over-the-head punch in the face I ever got! Goddamn it! Son. It's good. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me... ...I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here, tonight. Brought from his happy holiday slumber on Melody Lane with all the rich people. I want him brought right here... ...with a big ribbon on his head and I want to look him straight in the eye... ...and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten... ...low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed... ...ignorant, bloodsucking, brainless, dickless, hopeless... ...heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped... ...worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol? He has that crazy look in his eye. I told you we should have gone to Hawaii. Turn that thing off and get in the house! I'll talk to him, Mom. You know, Dad... ...l've been thinking. Good talk. Aren't you a teeny bit sorry we didn't get a Christmas tree? Even though they're dirty and messy and corny and clichйd? Where are you going to find a tree at this hour on Christmas Eve? What's the matter? Was that really necessary? We needed a tree. May I remind you that... That this was all my idea? No, no. I'm well aware of that. Could you just keep it in mind the next time you go berserk? I didn't go berserk. I simply solved a problem. We needed a coffin. A tree. There are no lots open on Christmas Eve. Louis burned down my tree so I replaced it as best I could. Voilа... Are you okay? I'm fine, honey. I fixed the newel post. What's that sound? Do you hear it? It's a funny, squeaking sound. You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant. I hear it, too. I don't hear it anymore. Squirrel! What was it? Oh, my God! Quiet! Shut up! Mom, don't move. We can't let it out of the living room. Where's Eddie? He usually eats these goddamn things. Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol. Thank you, Catherine. I'll try and trap it. Russ! We're here, Dad. There you are. Go get the hammer. What do you need a hammer for? I'll catch it in the coat and smack it with the hammer. I'm going in with him. Nora? Is it gone? It probably got scared and ran back into the tree. Squirrel! You just march ------------------------------ Читайте также: - текст Раба любви на английском - текст Мой ласковый и нежный зверь на английском - текст Луни Тьюнз: Снова в деле на английском - текст Вертихвостки на английском - текст Код апокалипсиса на английском |