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Рождественские каникулы

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kind
of gas coming from the sewer.
My tree!
So, what's the matter with you?
Look what you've done to my tree!
It was an ugly tree anyway.
At least it's out of its misery.
- Dad's gonna flip out.
- Nobody's gonna flip out.
We're gonna have a wonderful Christmas.
What the hell do you want?
I have a delivery for Clark W. Griswold.
I was supposed to deliver it yesterday...
...but it fell between the seats
and I didn't see it. I'm sorry.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
- I can't believe it.
- What is it?
A letter confirming your reservation
at the nuthouse?
It's from my company.
Your bonus.
My bonus.
Open it, Clarkie. Open it.
I hope it's a fortune.
I bet you do.
I was afraid...
Are you going to bawl all over it,
or are you gonna open it?
I was gonna wait till tomorrow
to tell you all this, but what the heck?
With this bonus check,
I'm putting in a swimming pool.
That's it. That's the big one!
Open it!
I'm sorry if I've been
a little short with everyone lately.
I've been waiting for this bonus.
To make sure the pool goes in
when the ground thaws...
...I had to lay out the money in advance.
Until this arrived, I didn't have enough
to cover the check.
Tear the sucker open, Dad.
Drum roll.
If there's enough left,
I'll fly you all down to help us dedicate it.
I can't swim, Clark.
I know that, Eddie.
What's wrong?
It's bigger than you expected?
Smaller?
What is it?
A one-year membership
in the Jelly-of-the-Month Club.
That's the gift that keeps on giving
the whole year.
That it is, Edward.
That it is, indeed.
I'm sorry.
If this isn't the biggest bag-over-the-head
punch in the face I ever got! Goddamn it!
Son.
It's good.
If any of you are looking
for any last-minute gift ideas for me...
...I have one.
I'd like Frank Shirley,
my boss, right here, tonight.
Brought from his happy holiday slumber
on Melody Lane with all the rich people.
I want him brought right here...
...with a big ribbon on his head and
I want to look him straight in the eye...
...and I want to tell him
what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten...
...low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating,
inbred, overstuffed...
...ignorant, bloodsucking,
brainless, dickless, hopeless...
...heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed,
stiff-legged, spotty-lipped...
...worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is!
Hallelujah!
Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
He has that crazy look in his eye.
I told you we should have gone to Hawaii.
Turn that thing off and get in the house!
I'll talk to him, Mom.
You know, Dad...
...l've been thinking.
Good talk.
Aren't you a teeny bit sorry
we didn't get a Christmas tree?
Even though they're dirty and messy
and corny and clichйd?
Where are you going to find a tree
at this hour on Christmas Eve?
What's the matter?
Was that really necessary?
We needed a tree.
May I remind you that...
That this was all my idea?
No, no. I'm well aware of that.
Could you just keep it in mind
the next time you go berserk?
I didn't go berserk.
I simply solved a problem.
We needed a coffin.
A tree. There are no lots open
on Christmas Eve.
Louis burned down my tree
so I replaced it as best I could. Voilа...
Are you okay?
I'm fine, honey.
I fixed the newel post.
What's that sound?
Do you hear it?
It's a funny, squeaking sound.
You couldn't hear a dump truck
driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
I hear it, too.
I don't hear it anymore.
Squirrel!
What was it? Oh, my God!
Quiet! Shut up!
Mom, don't move.
We can't let it out of the living room.
Where's Eddie?
He usually eats these goddamn things.
Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels
were high in cholesterol.
Thank you, Catherine.
I'll try and trap it.
Russ!
We're here, Dad.
There you are.
Go get the hammer.
What do you need a hammer for?
I'll catch it in the coat
and smack it with the hammer.
I'm going in with him.
Nora?
Is it gone?
It probably got scared
and ran back into the tree.
Squirrel!
You just march
Рождественские каникулы Рождественские каникулы

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