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Роксана

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panicked.
You have to help me,
it was working.
I do not think I could after that.
She wants somebody who looks like me
and talks like you.
No, come here.
Do not make me do it.
Stand under the window,
I will be out of sight.
- I whisper to you what to say.
- Wait, what if she hears you?
Just call her.
Roxanne?
Go easy for once!
Goddamn it, what are you doing?
I am sorry, hold on.
- Listen to me, I have a lot to say.
- Go away!
- I just want to tell you that...
- That I am really built?
- No, nothing like that.
- Tell her you were an idiot.
I was an idiot, Roxanne.
Wait, come here!
I... C.D. help me -
- want to say that I was an idiot.
I was... happy? dizzy?
Thirsty?
This is stupid.
Stupid!
I was stupid and I was also...
Tripping? ...bumbling.
I was a stupid, bumbling... pointer.
Pointer?
No, no... stupid ass.
So why did you say those things?
Tell her you were afraid.
- Because I was afraid.
- Of me? Afraid of what?
Tell her you were afraid of words.
- What?
- Words.
Because I was afraid of worms, Roxanne!
Worms!?
What are you saying to me?
When I said "worms"
I meant "words", Roxanne.
Give me your coat.
Words are all used up, they are hard
to say, they have all been wasted -
- on the shampoo commercials
and the ads and the flavourings.
Hollow, beautiful words.
How can you love a floor wax?
How can you love a diaper?
How can I use the same word about you
that is used about a stuffing?
I am exploding with love,
but cannot use the word.
I cannot hear you.
It is because my words have to rise up,
they have trouble finding you.
- You can hear me.
- That is because your voice floats down.
One hard word from you
at that height kills me.
Give me your hat.
Your voice sounds different.
Of course, I do not have to be careful
anymore. I am protected by the night.
I can be myself, Roxanne.
Oh God, your name is like a knife.
Stand where I can see you.
- No!
- Why?
Only my voice, you do not need
to see me, just listen to me.
I only have a minute to talk to you.
Did what I wrote touch you?
It did.
It was eloquent.
No, not eloquent, just honest.
I am in orbit around you,
I am suspended weightless over you -
- like the blue man in the Chagall, -
- hanging over you in a delirious kiss.
Yesterday, on the street...
I swore I heard your name.
I turned and there was nobody there.
Just five birds rising off the ground -
- and when their wings hit the air,
I heard your name again.
Just for that second I was one of them,
pounding out your name: Roxanne.
Roxanne. A word of two syllables
locked inside my head.
You see... I am...
and I will always be -
- the one who loved you
without limits.
What are you talking about?
It is too much.
- Go on.
- It is working, go on.
This is my whole life right now.
Standing here talking to you like this.
Saying things I wanted to say,
but could not.
Why could you not talk to me?
I was afraid you would laugh at me.
- That is silly.
- No, not if you knew.
When you are reaching for a star,
there is a long way to fall.
I almost never let this moment happen.
Now I feel sorry for people for whom
it never comes.
I love you. I have breathed you in
and I am suffocating.
I am crazy, I cannot go on.
This is all too much.
- I am starting to feel a little dizzy.
- I am starting to feel a little drunk.
Because I have
made you tremble up there, have I not?
Like a leaf on a tree.
- I want to make love to you.
- Shut up, Chris.
What?
I was telling myself to shut up
because this time I have gone too far.
I will be the judge of that.
She wants us.
C.D., it is okay.
Sooner or later.
You can do it.
Do not think I do not know you and
have not felt you beneath me.
I know you have imagined it,
have you not?
Lying back into your bed with me.
I have.
There will never be another tonight.
Why should we sip from a tea cup,
when we can drink from the river?
There is a tiny word; it is not a noun,
it is not a verb -
Роксана Роксана

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