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Превратности судьбы

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reputation...
without a prepared
classical monologue.
That means Shaw,
Ibsen, Shakespeare.
I'm doing Ophelia's mad scene.
I'm not waltzing in off the street...
[As Sandy] saying,
"Gee, I think I want to be an actress."
You know what
I bet?
I bet you haven't been laid
in about a year.
- Ames, Lauren.
- Ah, ah.
Yes, I'm coming.
I'm... I will be coming...
I'm... I'm ready.
Quickly, Miss Ames.
Have a good
mad scene.
It's really great,
I just saw it.
Hmm.
[Russian Accent] I will not only wish
you to absorb everything that I say,
I will also wish you to keep
notes of everything that I say.
And I will wish
to look at those notes.
Now if you say this
is like high school,
I do not apologize.
I am an old egotist...
and I want to know that
you recorded my ideas.
If you do not,
you're gone from the class.
All right, we begin.
We begin
with vowel groups.
Vowel groups?
Mr. Weldon,
do you know the difference
between a Texas diphthong
and a Georgia diphthong?
Sorry I'm late.
They made me fill out all these
dumb-ass financial aid forms.
You want 'em?
I cannot believe... I absolutely
cannot believe he let her in!
And on scholarship!
I just bet I know what
she did as an audition.
The woman has no training,
no experience.
I mean, correct me
if I'm wrong.
I really thought if you
worked at your craft...
maybe, just possibly, you get
to work with one of the greats.
It's $2.95,
not $295.
I knew that.
[Sighing]
Something's seriously wrong
with my life.
Excuse me.
- Are you all right?
- Better.
- I was just... Who cares?
May I help you?
- Yeah.
- Have you got something in a pumpkin?
- The shade pumpkin?
No, a pumpkin costume.
- Oh.
- God, I sound like an idiot.
The reason is that
I teach grammar school.
- You're a schoolteacher?
- Uh-huh.
- You're not an actor?
- God, no, I'd be awful.
Why do you ask?
Well, there's just so many actors
who come in here. Please go on.
Well, we're putting on
a little pageant...
and there's a kid in my class
who's very insecure.
The other kids pick on him
and his mother doesn't sew,
and I think it would give him
such a boost to have the best
darn costume in the place.
So I thought a
professional costumers...
would have
an incredible pumpkin.
But I can't go more than $50 because
this is coming out of my own pocket.
I'm really sorry,
I don't think we have a pumpkin.
What about a squash?
We don't have any
vegetables as such.
I'm sorry.
Well, this is the
last place on the list,
but I'll just throw
something together myself.
I really appreciate
your time. Thanks.
Um, listen.
I don't know,
maybe someone...
Maybe I could...
I've made a lot of my own costumes.
I'm sure it wouldn't
be that difficult.
If I could help out,
I'd... like to.
That would
be fabulous.
- I hope you'll forgive me, Lauren.
- For what?
- I don't usually lunge
at women like that.
- Oh.
But you just, uh...
I just had
to kiss you.
I really am sorry and I hope
that you'll want to see me again.
Oh, where in the world
did you come from?
New Mexico originally.
No, no, I mean,
how can a man
so delightful as you...
be just wandering
the streets of New York?
Single, single, yeah.
I can't believe it.
Well, that's not by choice.
I'd like to be married.
- This isn't happening.
- Why not?
Well, there must be something wrong
with you. Don't you have any faults?
I smoke.
You smoke? That's it?
Call the police!
No, no, no,
it's an addiction.
Colton's tobacco.
New Mexico's finest.
I hope you
don't mind.
Well, I'll struggle
through somehow.
Good.
Very good,
because I'd like
to see you again...
tomorrow night.
Well, yes.
Mmm, thank you.
There.
What's this?
"Oo, ee, oo, ah,
oo, ee, ah, oo."
That's what you do
in acting class?
- Those are vowel groups.
- Mmm.
[As Korzenowski]
Sorry, "Wowel groups."
- Ooh, ooh.
- I feel the same way.
Will you please kiss me
hard on the lips?
That was tender,
but tasty.
-
Превратности судьбы Превратности судьбы

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