boy.
Yeah, you're a good
actor, but a lousy shot.
Please, look, we can make bargain.
- Uh, the KGB is very generous.
- Oh... Oh, stop with the KGB.
How dare you defraud the entire
New York theatre community?
- Lauren. - I've
never... Hi. - Lauren.
- I've never heard such behaviour in my
life. - Lauren. - These people are artists.
- Lauren. - What is it? -
Th-That's not the hot issue here.
The... No. No.
Okay. Okay, here it comes, Stan.
You're gonna tell us right now
what was going on in that class...
or Sandy's gonna shoot you.
I'll shoot it off, Stan.
We needed couriers.
- How? -
Yeah. - Uh...
your notebooks.
I left microdot for him in yours,
and he sent back reply in yours.
Well, if he stole the toxin
for you, why don't you have it?
He screwed you too.
He screwed me too.
Ladies, I admit I've made a big mistake,
but if you'd just put yourself in my hands...
you can walk away from here right
now with full federal protection.
Complete clearance of
all conspiracy charges.
I will give you free acting
lessons for the rest of your life.
- We'll pay all the expenses you've incurred.
- Oh, stop it.
The both of you, you're so
full of it. Come on, let's go.
It stinks around here.
Thanks for trying.
- We'll find you.
- Not if the coyotes find you first!
- Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh.
- Please!
Please!
Blood is on your head, you putz.
- This is the worst day of my life.
- Yeah.
- We're a couple of chumps.
You know that, don't you?
- Oh, we're worse than that.
- Mmm, well, okay, yeah.
- I can't believe I didn't see it.
- I am so humiliated.
- I know.
He hit on us for those notebooks.
"Hit on"? He got me to pick him up.
Tell me! I attacked
him in a Burger King.
I worked all night on his
fucking pumpkin costume.
- For a mythical student, if you will.
- No!
- Yes!
- No.
Hey, I baked cookies
for his entire class.
- Oh, no!
- Could you see me baking?
Icing... Icing these little
happy faces on every one of'em?
Well, I paid $5,000
to study with the KGB.
The KGB. Oh, my God!
Oh, he trashed me much
worse than he trashed you.
- Oh!
- Really. Hamlet. How am I gonna know Hamlet?
You really should if you're
going to be an actress.
Oh, pardon me...
but, you know, we can't all of
us study at the London School of
Shakespearean Weirdness, you know.
Some of us had to schlepp
drinks for a living.
I'm sorry, Sandy.
Oh, God.
So, where you wanna go now?
I don't know.
They'll be after us.
- I was thinking...
- Yeah. So was I.
What?
That we go find Michael
and rip his face off.
- That, and get the toxin back.
- Oh, the hell with the toxin.
- I just wanna rip his face off.
- No, we need the toxin.
We don't want the CIA on
our backs all our lives.
- Just so I get to rip his face off.
- I promise we'll rip his face off
after we get the toxin.
Hey! Hello, honey! Hello!
No, no, you idiot!
My shoes!
- Hey, Stan.
- What?
Looks like you're gonna
be facing KGB tribunals.
Unless, of course, you'd
like to make an arrangement.
Would such an arrangement include, uh,
unlimited expense account?
Condo on the Potomac?
Redskins season tickets? Huh?
Aw, nuts!
Thanks, Humphrey. It was sweet of you.
Oh, it was my pleasure, Lauren.
Well, what should we do first?
Get a little sushi? Take in a show?
Now, why do they do that?
Has there ever been one woman in the
history of the world who actually said...
"Yes, fellas, please, take me now."
For a bed and a bath,
I'd... I'd consider it.
- Bite your tongue.
- Hey, turisto. Welcome.
Hey, you're lookin' for a guide, right?
Native Indian to show you the hidden
wonders of this great Chicatacawa nation?
Well, ladies, you have found him.
Special price, today only... $20.
I don't want to be the first to break
this to you... you are not an Indian.
That's a technicality.
I've been a blood brother to
the Chicatacawa since 1968.
I got a tan. What do you want for $20?
Honey, I'm an actress. I love to dress
up