Part Two
© Nadezhda 1998
Subtitles: Alexei Jankowski
Subtitling by TVS - TlTRA FlLMThe State Film Committee
of Russia
Nadezhda Productions
St.Petersburg
Producer
Svetlana Voloshina
with the participation of
Lenfilm Studios
Alexander Sokurov
CONFESSlON
from the diary
of a ship Commander
A cinematographic narrative
in five parts
Part Three
The plot and the characters
of this film
are creations of
the author's imagination.
Opposite the Commander
his friend was sitting.
They understood each other.
His friend too
commanded a ship.
ln general,
l have achieved my aims.
lf l think over my aspirations,
practically all have been realised.
There are things
to be proud of,
to be ashamed of.
lf l had to give my life a mark,
it would be between
''satisfactory'' and ''good''.
But the question is
what next?
Will l be able to manage it?
- Manage what?
- This life.
Find an aim
and fulfil it.
A new life?
Yes, but...
Will my strength hold out?
Today, l feel more and more certain
that it is somehow exhausted.
Enough for one more spurt,
no more.
What have you spent it on?
On this hounded animal.
There's a relation with death.
Life's almost finished.
How old are you now?
l'm 30 this year.
Only 30.
Before, 30 was something...
But that's half of one's life.
Statistically.
My own reckoning, too,
tells me l won't go
beyond 55-57 years.
Still less if l keep
ruining my health like this.
When you're squeezed dry,
they don't need you anymore.
They dump you.
Everyone forgets you.
That's it.
What have l done,
that's worthy...
There are people
whom l've brought up, as it were.
l didn't treat my own tutors well,
and l became like them myself.
When people go,
a year or 6 months later
they come to understand that
those 2 years - or 3 as it used to be -
weren't wasted.
lt forges one's character.
The army is necessary.
Even such as it is now.
At least to produce people.
Not to brand them all alike.
Not in that sense.
ln the sense that it hardens them.
Without that hardness
a man is incomplete.
Later something else may harden him.
But here is a standard machine
which hardens
or breaks people down.
lt all depends.
lf a person is strong enough
to handle it,
he becomes a man.
Otherwise he breaks down.
But he will break down anyway,
even without the army.
He'll break down
in civilian life.
Selection.
That's it.
Does it matter what it costs
to be formed like this?
lt does.
lt's like this.
Yes... You know...
You have a very particular
character.
The army is
a theatre of characters.
Nowhere else do men reveal
their characters so openly.
lt's like a particular calibre
of weapon.
Our openness of character
makes us vulnerable.
Can you imagine
an officer in prison?
l'd never go.
lt's not my way.
l'm not ready.
lf your life becomes senseless,
you must put an end to it.
Old commanders told me
they used to carry
Makarov's bullet,
or rather a cartridge,
in their pocket.
lt was about
10 - 15 years ago.
A small cartridge
at hand...
for such occasions.
Pah! And that's it.
Anything but humiliation.
''lnsulted and lnjured''.
Humiliated.
This is a humiliation.
Before, there were
educated people.
There have always been
cruel officers.
He listened to his friend
and he recalled
how one evening
he heard some wonderful music
on the radio.
He sat and listened
for a long, long time.
To begin with he felt fine.
Then he came to hate
both the ship
and his whole life,
everything, from his childhood
up to the present minute.
Then he remembered his mother,
his brother...
Where were they?
He thought of his town.
He remembered himself
freezing in the Naval School hostel,
sleeping with his hat on,
never thinking about the future.
He didn't know how to think.
Do you think 19th Century
Russian officers
were like us?
No, no.
Were they so different?
Radically different,
in everything.
Perhaps for them,
it was their work,
their