That is what
you were going to say, right?
- How would I know that?
- No one likes a smart-ass.
Then shoot me. Point your gun
at my head and pull the trigger.
Come on. Do it.
I double dare you.
But you are not going to do it.
You do not kill kids in the movies.
Because you are the good guy.
You really believe you are
inside a movie, do you not?
You have ten minutes to prove it.
And then I shoot you.
- Schwarzenegger films?
- Foreign films are in the back.
- No, this guy is an action star.
- Down the centre on the left.
No, it is not possible.
What? He is fantastic.
It is his best performance ever.
- It was you in that movie.
- You were in a movie?
Yes, called "Girl of My Dreams".
It starred you.
We had a very romantic
scene together.
- What is the store's phone number?
- 5552310.
What is your home number?
You can give it to him.
I am a police officer.
- 5553812.
- Amazing.
I will bet that everyone
has a 555 number.
There can only be 9999 numbers
that start with 555.
- How many people live in L.A.?
- Eight or nine million.
That is why we have area codes.
- Is this your kid?
- Oh no.
He is a mental patient
that I am taking downtown.
What about this girl?
She is too attractive to work here.
I agree. I think she should work
with us. Undercover of course.
The point is there are
no unattractive women here.
Where are the ordinary women?
- Nowhere. This is a movie.
- No, this is California.
And thanks. It was sweet
the way you got that girl's number.
Okay, Mr. Non-believer.
I will take you to the house -
- where your cousin Frank was tortured.
I have seen it on screen.
It is like that one.
But on the other side of the road.
It has an ocean view.
There is something
you do not understand.
This ticket is magic. Any second
we will drive right into a theatre.
Maybe I need to warm it up.
Of course. My decoder ring has
to warm up all the time.
The house looked European.
Like a postcard from Italy.
Like that one.
In fact, just like that one!
The bad guys are in there.
- I think you should wear this.
- I have not earned it yet.
You just solved the entire case
and revolutionised police training.
I have studied human character,
terrorist psyche, fingerprints.
I have taken courses in surveillance,
hostage negotiation and psychology.
And all I had to do was drive
around the neighbourhood -
- and point at a house and say:
"The bad guys are in there."
Trying to be funny?
Yes. I am the famous comedian
Arnold Braunschweiger.
- Schwarzenegger.
- Gesundheit.
May I help you?
Yes. Could I speak to
the drug dealer of the house?
We are out killing drug dealers.
Do you have any in the house?
Be ready for anything.
Where are you going?
I will be back.
You did not know I would say that.
- You always say that.
- I do?
Everybody waits for you to say it.
It is like your calling card.
You are interested in
drug dealers?
Jack, that is the henchman
with the glass eye.
- Are you a henchman?
- No, I only go as far as lackey.
- Anything else?
- Take off your sunglasses.
- Who is asking?
- The Tin Man.
- I suggest you hit the bricks.
- No. They are the wrong colour.
Oh, dear. Let us change them.
Would arterial red suit you?
Make no mistake.
They are very well trained.
I snap my fingers again and tomorrow
you emerge from several canine rectum.
Or you and Toto can go back to Oz.
Questions?
Yes. Two of them.
Why am I wasting time on
a putz like you -
- when I could be doing something
dangerous like rearranging my socks?
And how will you snap your fingers
after I rip off both your thumbs?
Have a nice day.
He had one with a bull's-eye earlier.
He calls his boss a Sicilian schmuck.
How did Slater find out?
Will you tell me?
I want him to join me, but he
keeps going after the bad guys.
Where is it written
that I am a bad guy?
Find out who talked and have
him killed. Then, Slater.
- What is it with you?
- We should call off the