you don't seem to understand.
I've been trained to take care of myself.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't want to hurt you.
Oh, shit!
No!
Let go of me!
No!
Come on, come on, come on!
Samantha?
Doris?
- Samantha?
- What?
God. What are you trying to do?
Give me a heart attack?
- I thought you were Doris.
- You know, she decked me last night.
Knocked one of my teeth loose, even.
Wait till Daddy hears about that.
You know how he's always telling me
to be careful with my mouth
on account of the dental plan
doesn't cover anything cosmetic.
Anyway, get this. I think Chuck and Doris
spent the night together last night.
Wait till Daddy hears about that.
I mean, even if he isn't pissed off
about my mouth, which I can't imagine.
What's happening?
Oh, yeah, I guess you are a little confused.
God, you look terrible.
I ran away last night after she slugged me.
Left a note and everything.
But I didn't have any place to go,
so I spent the night
in a lawn storage shed.
It was pretty gross with the Synerol
and everything.
God, look at this kitchen.
I'm not cleaning this up.
So anyway, since I was still here
this morning,
I thought, hey, I'll go
to pep squad practice and split after.
Except for I don't know
if pep squad practice is on or not.
I can't get anybody on the phone.
Sammy, you can't get anybody
on the phone because everybody is gone.
What? could you grab the milk, please?
- I swear to God!
- You made me swallow my gum.
There's nobody.
I mean, there's no body!
Oh, right. Nobody. I'm sure.
- Come here.
- Hey!
Back off!
This sweater cost 80 bucks.
Muffy?
Stupid dog.
Look! Look at this!
- At what?
- Doris isn't at Chuck's. I'll show you Doris.
Here's Doris.
This is all that's left of her,
this and dust.
Look, here's Chuck.
Where are the kids?
It's Saturday morning.
Where are the goddamn kids?
They're around.
They're not around.
Look, if you're trying to scare me,
you're doing it, okay?
- I'm not trying to scare you.
- Then stop it.
I'm not doing it.
You try calling someone.
Not just your pep squad. Anyone.
Nobody's home!
Unbelievable, that's song number 16
on the survey this week.
Don't forget, we preview the top 20
every Friday night.
A great way to start a super weekend
here in the southland.
Get down!
- Are you sure this is the radio station?
- Yeah. Just go on in.
Well, don't push.
Do you think whatever happened,
happened everywhere?
Like in Burbank or places like that?
We'll ask the DJ.
He does the news, doesn't he?
Search me. I always change the channel
when the news comes on.
Here's something in here.
So, where is he?
I mean, somebody has to run this stuff,
don't they?
We've got trouble. Not us.
That's the name of the song.
And I'm Steve LaBeau
trapped inside your radio.
The guy who really cares about you.
I mean, who else would sit
in this little box every day
just to play music for you?
Well, it's time to reach into
the old mailbag here. Got a letter from...
Beam me up, Scotty.
Okay, girls. Hold it right there.
- You, the blonde, get into the light.
- Wait.
Why don't you just let my sister go.
And maybe you and I
can work something out.
- I'm not going anywhere!
- Shut up!
You got the wrong idea.
You, into the light.
I'll give you to five. One, two... No?
All right. Let's try it this way.
Five, four, three...
Okay, okay.
Do you get a lot of dates this way?
Open your eyes.
Okay.
Hey, I know what you're thinking, but...
- That you're a cretin?
Sweetheart, you haven't seen those
freaked-out zombies running around here?
Yeah, I was jumped by one.
Well, you got off lucky.
Me and this girl pulled into town
this morning.
You don't work here?
No. I drive a truck.
I was heading to San Diego
with this girl I picked up.
We were looking for a gas station.
That's when we spotted one of those...
Whatever they are.
Looked like it was