American Express
Platinum Card, maybe?
Cash.
You know, every time you go
to the john, you lose IQ points.
It's Walter Mondale.
- Just 7.50. There's your change.
- Thanks.
- I don't need a bag.
- No?
- Thanks.
- Enjoy it.
Bondage has no place in my life.
Since when?
Since I spent the night tied up
in the back seat of your car!
- Jena.
- Yeah?
Would you ever consider going out
with somebody that had money?
I don't think it makes
a difference. I mean...
It's material.
Simon! Simon!
What would you do if your father
came home a rich man?
- Kiss his ass.
- See?
- See what?
- What Simon just said.
What...
What are you gettin' at?
Are you goin' out with a rich guy?
- I gotta go.
- Hey, you didn't answer my question.
- No.
- Good.
Simon, it's been stimulating.
- How long have I been coming here?
- I dunno. A couple of years.
- OK, so we're buddies, we're close.
- Yeah. Very pally.
OK! So how many times
have you let me in?
- I never let you in. You know that.
- You see what I'm sayin'?
- I dunno. What are you sayin'?
- My girlfriend is in there and I'm here...
Well, she's a girl and she's my friend,
so she's a girl friend.
But she's in there and I'm out here!
You're a sensitive, sexually potent guy.
- You gotta know how that hurts!
- Let me ask you a question, seriously.
Why does she come here,
knowing I don't let you in?
- Think about it.
- I don't know.
Anyway, my advice to you is...
dump her, lose her.
You don't need that.
You see what I'm sayin'?
You see the point I'm tryin' to make?
Love's a bitch, Duck. Love's a bitch.
- Ain't it the truth?
- It's the truth.
- High five.
- All right!
Wanna try a cigarette?
Let me ask you a personal question.
If you worship the Duck, why not
hang out somewhere he could get in?
Nice Dice Man! Say hello to the wife
and kids. You know what I'm sayin'?
He's dyslexic. He gets everything
backwards. He meant to say...
- It's OK, Duckie.
- OK. You're sure?
I could clean up this parking lot
with his butt.
- No, I'm fine. Don't worry about me.
- OK.
- Were you here long?
- No, no. Three, four hours.
You have a good time?
- Good. That's good. What now?
- Bed.
Yours or mine?
- Ours?
- Nice try.
OK. Can you at least
give me a ride home?
Yeah. Get in.
Can I put my head in your lap?
Can I rest my head
on your shoulder and let you steer?
- Get in, Duckie.
- OK.
These houses are amazing, Duck.
The first million I make,
I'll buy you one. I hate this song.
- They're so beautiful.
- You want beauty, look in the mirror.
This whole tape is horrible.
It must be, like, a hormone thing.
Every song is making me sick.
I mean, why can't I find
a decent song here?
- That was my favourite.
- Are you deaf?
The house!
Yeah. That's a nice little crib.
I wonder what it's like inside.
Well, what difference does it make?
You know what the really sad thing is?
I bet the people that live there don't
think it's half as pretty as I do.
You know, Andie, I'm just...
They just don't write love songs
like they used to. I...
I'm angry about this now. My evening's
shot. Just drive me home, now.
The reason I came over, other than I'd
been planning to come and say hello,
- I wanted to talk to you about Andie.
- Yeah?
She's an incredible individual.
You know that.
I mean, I'm there for her.
Whenever, however, I'm there.
You can rest assured
that she's covered.
I don't want you to worry,
because my only plans
are to make sure
that she's taken care of.
That's nice of you, Phil.
And I'd like to marry her.
Well, not today. But eventually, I figure.
Well, does Andie know
how you feel about this?
No confirmation on that just yet.
I'm layin' the groundwork.
I'm thinkin' in terms of
housing, food, basic needs.
But I'm picking my moment.
- I mean, you understand, right?
- Sure.
I felt the same way about
somebody myself.
A girl?
A girl.
I loved her and I married her.
And one day she just split.
Wait, this