How much is the microscoPe?
- TelescoPe.
- Oh, well.
It's $1,000, and it's on sale.
Then I'm gonna dePosit the rest
in a money market account.
I'm Proud of you, son.
You worked, you earned, you saved.
You ask. Hey, big Dave.
How 'bout, uh,
sPottin' me a 20 to
Purchase some necessities?
- Why? What's uP, son?
- Preschooljam session at Julie's.
Okay. And what about you, Ronald?
You got any back-to-school
parties lined up?
Yeah, the Saturday night card game.
Ooh! Cards with the 'tards.
- [Groans]
Smack him.
- Hey, bro, I'm only kidding.
I mean, who could beat a night
of cards, chiPs, diPs and dorks?
[Laughing]
Well, guys, read 'em and weeP.
- [Laughs]
- [Sighs]
[Exhales]
Your deal.
[Crickets Chirping]
Ronald! Your deal.
[Chips Clattering]
Let's do something different.
What do you mean?
We've been Playing Poker
for two years.
Let's Play another game.
Dealer's choice.
Hearts.
####[Dance Rock]
- Fran, isn't it?
- Yeah!
Wow! Wow, can I Pet it?
- I'm sorry. It's dead.
- Ooh, cool outfit!
Ooh, what a severe suede.
You guys, it's no big deal.
Um, Bobby sent it to me from Iowa.
You know, they have
fine leathers down there.
Oh, yeah, the best leathers
come from Rome, Paris and Des Moines.
I don't remember this.
I was just in your closet yesterday.
Um, I Probably had it
somewhere else. I don't know.
Hey, Fran, do you wanna
go mingle a little bit?
My mom won't let me near suede.
It's too hard to clean.
Yeah, I know.
My mom feels the same way.
Did I tell any of you girls about
my many scholarshiP offers?
- Mm-hmm.
- [Boy]
Hey,John boy!
- Yeah! Quint! Hi!
-John!
Watch it! Ooh. Sorry, hon.
- [WhisPers]
Oh, my God.
-Don't worry. It's only wine.
Just rub some salt on it.
It'll come out.
Oh, oh.
I mean, it's not like I ruined it.
[Sighs]
Oh.
Damn it.
Now, for the same Price, I can sell you
this five-inch telescoPe.
- Oh, it's only five inches.
- Well, it has an oPtical inverter.
- Hmm.
- Take a look. Take a look.
It gives you an erect image
rather than uPside-down.
Hmm. Yeah.Ah,yes!
I see the erection.
I'll be right back.
I'll wraP it uP
for you, Ronald.
Yes, l, I relate
to your dilemma, miss. I really do.
But we have a Policy of no exchanges,
esPecially after a garment
has been marinated in RiPPle?
All right, now, I will
compromise, all right?
Um, l, I will work here after school
and on weekends...
Would you listen to me?
I will work here after school
and on weekends,
and all you need to do
is give me a rePlacement
outfit as an advance.
- Listen, honey.
- What?
I'll rePeat your alternatives
one last time.
You can keeP your outfit
and dye the rest of it cranberry.
- Or you can Purchase a new one.
- [Sighs]
Would you Please helP me?
I will do anything.
- [Sobs]
- Tsk. It's not that bad.
- What are you talking about?
Are you high?
- I want to rent you.
You want to rent me?
Yeah. You Pretend you like me,
and we go out for just a few weeks...
and that will make me PoPular.
Just going out with me
is not gonna make you PoPular.
Well, I have $1,000
that says it will.
I think you've mowed
one too many lawns.
You're right.
Tsk.
I believe we have decided
against Purchasing the outfit.
Donald!
Oh! You made it!
- I was afraid you
weren't gonna meet me.
- Mellow out, Donald.
I said 8:05. I'm here, right?
Relax, anyway. It's only school.
Yeah, well, this is not
my average oPening day.
I'm about to walk
the cool hallway.
- I usually go the long route
through the library.
- Would you ease uP?
I mean, I'm the one
who's gonna have to hold
a Press conference...
when we're seen
together, right?
- Right.
- Okay, now let's get this deal
straight one more time.
Um, we only Pretend to hang, right?
Uh, no hand holding, no kissing!
And I get my lunch hour off.
That's not our deal.
I need more return on my investment.
Well, there's no way
I'm holding your hand in Public.
- I mowed 286 miles for you.
- Okay,