re the Spaceballs
* We're the masters of space
* Don't mess around with the Spaceballs
* We're so bad and mean
* We make nightmares out of dreams
* We're the Spaceballs
* We're the Spaceballs
* So you'd better watch out!
Hee-hee, ha-ha!Col. Sandurz?
What is it, Sgt. Ricco?
You told me to let you know the moment
Planet Druidia was in sight, sir.
- So?
- Planet Druidia is in sight, sir.
You're really a Spaceball.
- You know that, don't you?
- Thanks, sir.
Have you notified Lord Helmet?
Yes, sir. I took the liberty. He's on his way.
Make way for Dark Helmet!
All rise in the presence of Dark Helmet.
I can't breathe in this thing.
- We're approaching Planet Druidia, sir.
- Good.
I'll call Spaceball City
and notify President Skroob immediately.
I already called him, sir.
He knows everything.
What? You went over my helmet?
Well, not exactly over, sir. More to the side.
I'll always call you first.
It'll never happen again. Never ever!
Oh, shit!
No! Please!
Please, no, not that!
Yes, that.
- Sandurz!
- Sir.
I don't see Planet Druidia. Where is it?
We don't have visual contact yet,
but we have it on the radar screen.
- Shall I punch it up for you?
- Never mind. I'll do it myself.
Very good, sir.
What's the matter?
What's that churning and bubbling?
You call that a radar screen?
No, sir, we call it Mr. Coffee.
Care for some?
Yes. I always have coffee
when I watch radar. You know that.
- Of course I do.
- Everybody knows that!
Of course we do, sir.
Now that I have my coffee,
I'm ready to watch radar.
- Where is it?
- Right here, sir.
Switch to teleview.
There it is. Planet Druidia.
And underneath the air shield,
10,000 years of fresh air.
- We must get through that air shield.
- We will, sir.
Once we kidnap the Princess,
we can force her father, King Roland...
to give us the combination
to the air shield...
thereby destroying Planet Druidia
and saving Planet Spaceball.
Everybody got that?
- Good. When will the Princess be married?
- Within the hour, sir.
Well, I hope it's a long ceremony,
'cause it's gonna be a short honeymoon.
Hot! Too hot.
If only your mother were alive
to see this day.
- Is everyone ready?
- Yes, Your Majesty.
No! Where's my droid of honor?
Oh, dear, yes. Where's Dot? Dot?
Dot Matrix!
Oh, thank God, dear!
Where've you been?
Here I am. I'm sorry.
I had to make a pit stop.
I'm so excited, I couldn't hold my oil.
All right, people. It's magic time!
All right, everyone, starting on the left foot.
- Daddy, that's the right foot.
- It's too late. Keep going.
Daddy.
Must I go through with this?
I'm sorry, my dear. You have to.
But, Daddy...
I don't love him.
I'm sorry, Vespa.
He's the last prince left in the galaxy.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
on this most joyous occasion...
to witness Princess Vespa,
daughter of King Roland...
going right past the altar,
heading down the ramp...
and out the door!
Stop her! Someone stop her! Stop her!
Hey, wait! You forgot to get married!
Will you stop?
What are you doing?
No questions, Dot. Get in.
What is she doing? Where is she going?
Come back!
Barf.
Barf?
Always when I'm eating.
- What can I do you for, boss?
- Where you been?
- Grabbing myself a snack. You want some?
- No!
- A little hair of the dog?
- No! Listen, answer that thing for me.
- Will you watch that?
- Sorry.
I'll just throw on our audio here.
That way they won't see you.
- Yello!
- Hello, Lone Starr.
Sorry, wrong switch.
Hello, Vinnie. What do you want?
No, it's not what I want.
It's what he wants.
Pizza the Hutt.
Well, if it isn't Lone Starr...
and his sidekick, Puke.
- That's Barf.
- Barf, Puke, whatever.
Where's my money?
Don't worry, Pizza.
You'll have it by next week.
No. I gotta have it by tomorrow.
100,000 space bucks? By tomorrow?
100,000? No way!
You forgot late charges...
which brings it up to 1 million space bucks!
A million? That's