fell for that, too.
I can't believe it, man.
So, Lone Starr, now you see
that evil will always triumph
because good is dumb.
Very impressive, Lone Starr. Too bad
this isn't the Wide World of Sports.
Use the Schwartz, Lone Starr
Use the Schwartz
I can't. I lost the ring.
Forget the ring. The ring is bupkis
I found it in a Cracker Jack box
The Schwartz is in you, Lone Starr
It's in you!
All right. I'll try.
Say goodbye to your two best friends.
And I don't mean
your pals in the Winnebago.
Thank you for pressing
the self-destruct button
This ship will self-destruct
in three minutes
What's going on?
Where the hell are we? Paris?
Thank you for pressing the button
This ship will self-destruct
in exactly two minutes and 45 seconds
Stop it. Is there any way to stop it?
I can't. It's irreversible.
Like my raincoat.
Attention, this is Colonel Sandurz
in forward command. Abandon ship!
Abandon ship!
All personnel proceed to escape pods.
Close down the circus. Evacuate the zoo.
The self-destruct mechanism
has been activated. Abandon ship.
Sandurz! Sandurz, you gotta help me.
I don't know what to do.
I can't make decisions. I'm a president!
This is your two-minute warning. This
ship will self-destruct in two minutes
Launch all escape pods
once they are filled.
What's happening? Where is he?
Spaceballs
Watch out!
- Where is he?
- Here.
We got a minute and 40
before the end of the world. Hang on!
Spaceballs
Full throttle.
- Go to hyper jets.
- Going to hyper jets.
If you're livin' in a bubble
And you haven't got a care
- Hey, where do you think you're going?
- Pizza to go!
Then you're gonna be in trouble
Cos we're gonna steal your air
Cos what you've got is what we need
And all we do is dirty deeds
We're the Spaceballs
Watch out
We're the Spaceballs
Hey, that's my escape pod. Who are you?
I'm the bearded lady.
What are you, one of the freaks?
Hey, come back! That's my pod! No!
Come back, you fat, bearded bitch!
One pod left.
And three of us.
And I'm the president.
Well, boys, it's a very lovely ship.
I think you should go down with it.
Goodbye.
What's the matter with this belt?
Spaceballs
This ship will self-destruct in 20 seconds
It's your last chance
to push the cancellation button
Cancellation button? Hurry!
Spaceballs
Watch out!
- Where is it? Where is it?
- It's gotta be here.
- Out of order.
- Fuck! Even in the future nothing works.
This ship will self-destruct
in exactly ten seconds
Counting down
Ten, nine,
eight, six
Six? What happened to seven?
Just kidding
There's the other end. Faster!
Six, five, four,
three, two, one
- Have a nice day
- Thank you.
We did it!
We all did it.
So I guess you might call that
a case of man bites droid?
On a sadder note, Pizza The Hutt,
famed half-man, half-pizza,
was found dead earlier today
in the back seat of his stretch limo
Evidently, the notorious gangster became
locked in his car and ate himself to death
Coming up:
Pongo's review of "Rocky Five
Thousand" Pongo?
Did you hear that?
Pizza kicked the bucket.
Now we don't have to pay him the million.
We can keep it for ourselves.
Yeah.
- Daddy! Oh, Daddy!
- Oh, Vespa, my darling.
I thought I'd never see you again.
Oh, my sweet little daughter.
I'm so happy that you're home and safe.
And, little Vespa, here's someone else
who's happy to see you.
Oh, hello.
Where have you been?
Thanks, hon.
Hiya, big stuff.
Hi, dream.
- What'll you have?
- We're just gassing up, so what's ready?
I got the space soup or the space special.
- Um, I'll have the soup.
- OK.
I'll have the cleavage. Uh, the special.
OK, one special and one soup.
- Ready to order?
- Hi. Yes, we'll both have the lunafish.
Anything to drink?
Hey, watch where you stick that thing!
Huh? Oh, look, it's got a mind of its own,
sweetheart. I can't do a thing with it.
- Jeez!
- What?
No, we were lost.
None of us knew where we were.
And then Harry began