BEEMAN: Don't I always?
[SHEEP BLEATS]
Oh, yeah, that's...
Much obliged. Thank you.
How you feeling, John?
So, what's new?
Uh...
Bullet shavings from
the assassination attempt on the pope...
...holy-water ampoules
from the River Jordan...
...and... Oh, you'll love this.
- screech beetle from Amityville.
[BEETLE SCREECHES]
Yeah, it's funny to you, but to the
fallen, that's like nails on a chalkboard.
What is it, exactly, with you and bugs?
I just like them.
Yeah. Who doesn't?
Yeah, easy there, hero.
- That's dragon's breath.
- I thought you couldn't get it anymore.
Yeah, well, I...
[CLEARS THROAT]
...know a guy who knows a guy.
[ROARING]
So, what's the action?
I just pulled a soldier demon
out of a little girl.
Looked like it was trying
to come through.
Yeah, I know how it sounds.
No, we're finger puppets
to them, John...
...not doorways.
They can work us, but they can't
come through onto our plane.
Check the scrolls anyway.
See if there's any precedent.
Sure thing, John. Uh...
Anything else?
Wouldn't happen to have
anything for a, uh...?
On the house.
CHAS: All right, question. How much
longer do I have to be your slave, John?
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
You're not my slave, Chas.
You're my very appreciated apprentice.
Like Tonto or Robin.
Or that skinny fellow
with the fat friend.
Right. So then why don't I apprentice
something besides driving, then, John?
John? John.
I love our little talks, John.
May I take your coat, Mr. Constantine?
No, thanks,
I'm not gonna be staying long.
ATTENDANT: How about you, ma'am?
- Oh, no, I'm not staying long either.
I really need to speak with him.
It's very important.
First come, first served.
Oh. So you're rude
no matter where you are.
- Father.
GARRET: Hi.
- You have news.
GARRET: Yes, I spoke with the bishop.
ANGELA:
Yes.
I know what you want, son.
Still keeping your all-seeing eye
on me, Gabriel?
I'm flattered.
Well, I could offer something...
...about how a shepherd leads
even the most wayward of his flock...
...but it might sound disingenuous.
She has to have a Catholic funeral,
Father. She has to.
- Angela, it's still considered a mortal sin.
- She didn't commit suicide.
The bishop believes otherwise.
You know the rules.
Oh, rules.
Father.
David.
This is Isabel.
God was the only one
she ever believed loved her.
Please.
I'm sorry.
JOHN: I've been seeing some
unusual soul traffic lately.
You might consider
giving me an extension.
I could do your side some good
these days.
You still trying to buy your way
into heaven?
What about the minions
I've sent back?
- That alone should guarantee my entry.
- How many times have I told you?
That's not the way this works.
Why, haven't I served him enough?
- What does he want from me?
- Only the usual.
Self-sacrifice, belief.
- Oh, I believe, for chrissake.
- No, no, you know.
And there's a difference. You've seen.
I never asked to see.
I was born with this curse.
A gift, John.
One that you've squandered
on selfish endeavors.
I'm pulling demons out of little girls.
Who's that for?
Everything you've ever done,
you've only ever done for yourself.
To earn your way
back into his good graces.
Impossible rules, endless regulations...
...who goes up, who goes down
and why.
[THUDS]
You don't even understand us.
You're the one who should go
to hell, half-breed.
Why me, Gabriel?
It's personal, isn't it?
I didn't go to church enough,
I didn't pray enough...
...I was 5 bucks short
in the collection plate. Why?
You are going to die young because...
...you smoked 30 cigarettes
a day since you were 15.
And you're going to go to hell...
...because of the life you took.
You're fucked.
[COUGHING]
At least it's nice out.
He always had a rotten sense of humor.
And his punch lines are killers.
CHAS:
John!
Constantine, it's raining! John! Hey!
MAN 1: Twenty-two women were found
buried in the assailant's back yard.