Larry
having to go home...
and... and explain
what happened to him.
And... the humiliation...
fucking humiliation
he must have felt.
It must have been unreal.
I mean, how do you apologize
for something like that?
There's no way.
It's all because of me
and my old man.
God, I fucking hate him.
He's like this...He's like this mindless
machinethat I can't relate to anymore.
Andrew!You've got to be number one!
I won't tolerate any losers
in this family.
Your intensity is for shit!
Win! Win! Win!
You son of a bitch.
You know sometimesI wish my knee would give...
then I wouldn't be ableto wrestle anymore.
Then he could forget
all about me.
I think your old man and my old man
should get together and go bowling.
It's like me, you know,
with my grades.
Like when I... when I...when I step outside myself.'...
and like when I look in
at myself, you know.
And I... And I see me.
I don't like what I see.
I really don't.
What's wrong with you?
Why don't you like yourself?
Sounds stupid, but...
because I'm failing shop.
We had this assignment,you know,
to make this,like, ceramic elephant...
and we had eight weeks
to do it.
And then, you know,
we're supposed to... It was like a lamp.
And when, you know, when you pull it,
the trunk, the light was supposed to go on.
But my light didn't go on.
I got an "F" on it.
I've never got an "F" in my life.
When I signed up, you know,for the course, I mean...
I thought I was playing it
real smart, you know...
'cause I thought, you know,
I'll take shop.
It'll be such an easy way to
maintain my grade point average.
Why'd you think
it'd be easy?
Have you seen some of the dopes
that take shop?
I take shop.You must be a fuckin'idiot.
I'm a fuckin' idiot
'cause I can't make a lamp?
No, you're a genius 'cause
you can't make a lamp.
What do you know
about trigonometry?
I could care less
about trigonometry.
Bender, did you know without
trigonometry, there'd be no engineering?
Without lamps,
there'd be no light.
Okay, so neither one of you
is any better than the other one.
I can write with my toes.
I can also eat,brush my teeth...
With your feet?
- Play "Heart And Soul" on the piano.
- I can make spaghetti.
What can you do?
I can, uh, tape
all of your buns together.
I wanna see
what Claire can do.
- I can't do anything.
- Everybody can do something.
There's one thing I can do.
- No, forget it. It's way too embarrassing.
- You ever seen Wild Kingdom?
That guy's been doing
that show for 30 years.
Okay. But you have to swear
to God you won't laugh.
Okay.
I can't believe
I'm actually doing this.
Yea!
All right. That's great!
Where'd you learn to do that?
Camp.
Seventh grade.
That was great, Claire.
My image of youis totally blown.
You're a shit. Don't do that to her.
You swore to God you wouldn't laugh.
- Am I laughing?- You fuckin' prick!
What do you care
what I think anyway?
I don't even count,
right?
I could disappear foreverand it
wouldn't make any difference.
I may as well not even existat this school, remember?
And you...
don't like me anyway.
You know, I have just as many feelings as you do...
and it hurts just as much when
somebody steps all over them.
God, you're so pathetic.
Don't you ever,
ever compare yourself to me, okay?
You got everything,
and I got shit.
Fuckin'Rapunzel, right?
School would probably shut downif you didn't show up.
Queenie isn't here.
I like those earrings,Claire.Shut up.
Are those real diamonds,Claire?Shut up!
I bet they are.Did you work for the money...
Shut your mouth!For those earrings?
Or did your daddybuy those for you?Shut up!
I bet he bought thosefor you.
I bet those werea Christmas gift, right?
You know what I gotfor Christmas this year?
It was a banner fucking yearat the old
Bender family.I got a carton of cigarettes.
The old man grabbed me and said,
"Hey, smoke up, Johnny."
Okay, so go homeand cry to your
daddy.Don't cry here, okay?
My