long as I've known him
everything works for him.
There's nothing he can't handle.
I can't handle anything.
School, parents, the future...
Ferris can do anything.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
- College.
- Yeah. But to do what?
What are you interested in?
Nothing.
Me neither.
You're crazy!
What do you think Ferris is going to do?
He's going to be a fry cook at Venus.
[Lip-syncing Twist and Shout
by The Beatles]
Christ.
[Horn honking rhythmically]
Poochie, poochie, poochie.
Look what Uncle Ed has for you,
you little fucker.
Jeez.
Sleep tight, pooch.
[Snoring]
I knew it!
Well, where is she?
Look, this is her daughter.
Well, do you know where she is?
Do you know when she'll be back?
Do you know anything?
Ferris.
Bueller.
- Ha!
- Ya!
You're psychotic. You are, man.
You're out of your goddamn mind.
I can't believe you did that.
I can't believe you went
on a goddamn parade float!
Okay, okay, wait. No, okay, wait. Okay.
"Yeah, yeah. This tune is one of
my personal favourites."
You're out of your mind.
Do you realise
how many people saw you?
- You're nailed.
- No, no.
- You are. You're nailed.
- You are.
Who'd believe that I was in a parade.
Who the hell am I?
Besides, anybody who would nail me
wouldn't go to a parade.
- My mother would.
- I'm not worried about your mother.
That was so quick.
Hey.
This looks okay to me, Cameron.
Looks great, let's roll.
Here you go. Nice job. Thank you.
You're a very generous individual.
Come back anytime.
- Right, okay. Watch the seat.
- Thanks a lot.
Sorry.
- Have a good night.
- Bye, you guys.
- Yeah, see you later.
- Later.
Yeah, man, we got to do this again.
Look, this...
This is not a phoney phone call.
There is an intruder, male,
Caucasian, possibly armed...
certainly weird, in my kitchen.
Yeah, my, my... My name's Bueller.
It's real nice that
you hope my brother's feeling better...
but I'm in danger, okay? I am very cute.
I am very alone.
And I'm very protective of my body.
I do not want it violated,
or killed, all right?
I need help!
Speak-a de English?
Dickhead.
God.
JEANIE: Excuse me.
Whoever's in the house
is still in the house...
I'd like you to know that
I've just called the police.
So if you have any brains whatsoever...
you'll get your ass out of
my house real quick.
I'd also like to add
that I have my father's gun...
and a scorching case of herpes.
Hey, wait, wait, wait. That's my car!
I'll move it!
He got my keys!
You shithead!
[Screaming in frustration]
I feel pretty good.
- Yeah?
- I feel real good.
Those guys... Those guys were nice,
huh? At the garage.
I was a little worried about them.
Turned out good.
Hey.
- Cameron?
- Yeah?
How many miles did you say
this thing had on it when we left?
One hundred and twenty-six...
and halfway between
three and four-tenths.
Why?
How many miles are on it now?
Here's where Cameron goes berserk.
[Cameron yelling]
Cameron. Are you okay? Cam?
Cameron, cut that out.
Who is it?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I can't come to the door right now.
I'm afraid that
in my weakened condition...
I could take a nasty spill
down the stairs and subject myself...
God bless the police.
I'm saved. Oh, thank you, God.
Thank you, thank you. You are the best.
Have a nice day.
Thank...
I heard that you were feeling ill.
Headache, fever, and a chill.
I came to help restore your pluck...
'cause I'm the nurse who likes to...
This may very well be for real.
I think Cameron might have blown
a microchip or two.
He's always been a little keyed up.
All I wanted to do
was give him a good day.
We're going to graduate
in a couple of months and then...
we'll have the summer.
He'll work and I'll work.
We'll see each other at night
and on the weekends.
Then he'll go to one school
and I'll go to another.
Basically that will be it.
Sloane's as big a problem.
She still has another year
of high school.
How do I deal with that?
I was serious