do a bit
of pillagin' the tables first.
- Twenty-two. Loser.
- Ah, Jesus!
That is mathematically impossible.
I must have the worst luck
in the northern hemisphere.
I heard about the Rogue Leader debacle.
- That's one for the record books.
- Hey.
A cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar
and Janeane Garofalo, it's too good to be true.
I just have to face the facts, Zoe.
I'm 24 years old...
and I've only ever copulated
with one woman.
Plenty of guys have
only been with one woman.
I don't know that many women
to have only been with one woman.
I, uh-
I'm female krypton/te.
Look, you're fine around me.
Well, yeah, of course I am.
That's 'cause...
you are not a girl.
You know what I mean?
No. Please enlighten me.
You know every Bond villain,
you constantly quote Clash of the T/tans.
And you've beat every Zelda game
N/ntendo's ever released.
- I mean-
- Dude, dude, dude. Three o'clock, man.
Hotties on the slotties.
I would knock the nickels
out of that pussy!
Dude, you're gonna be my Dak today,
all right? Follow my lead.
- Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa. You wanna just talk to them?
- Yeah. It's called having balls.
Or in your case, one ball.
Come on. Eric and Linus are waiting.
What are you, the wife?
Let's go.
- Wait. You're going over there?
- Uh-
Turns out you're more
clueless than you think.
- Apparently, so am I.
- What does that mean? Zoe!
- Zoel
- Come on.
- Pardon me.
- Hi there.
- Hello. How are you?
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Ladies.
You lad/es look/ng for love /n Alderaan places?
- Excuse me? - Alderaan is the last
planet destroyed by the Death Star-
Bomba, bomba, bomba!
Dat-dat-dat-dat-dat-dat! Daniel-san.
What my soc/ally retarded fr/end
was try/ng to say.
Was that we'd like to
maybe buy you two gals a beverage.
- Sure.
- Sure.
Oh, my God. Wow.
You know, uh, Eric and Linus
are waiting for us.
I think that they're going to understand.
They're going to understand.
Where are they, man?
It's almost- It's almost 8:00!
I don't know where they are, but we
don't have time to wait for 'em. Come on.
Convention room's this way.
Let's go.
- Rak nonl
- Yes, sir!
Phasers on stun.
Being the C.E.O.
Of my own company...
I'm not gonna lie to you,
I get a lot of perks.
I got a big-ass mansion, you know.
I got a butler-
Maurice.
Bentley in the drive.
Flux capacitor.
I mean, the 1.21 gigawatts,
that don't come cheap, you know.
- But I got the duckets, you know.
- Wow.
There's nothing more sexy
than a man with power.
What do you mean?
Like-You like power?
- Uh-huh.
- I like power.
- I got a hell of a lot of power.
- Yeah?
Yeah.
You want to come sit on my lap.
Oh. Wow.
You want to take your shirt off.
Wow-ar-r-rm.
Yummy!
Oh, my God.
- Can you smell that?
- Trekk/es.
Yeah.
Badges.
Yeah, we're not here for the Trek.
Okay? We're here to see somebody.
And who would that be?
We're here to see the nerfherder.
- Hmm?
- Scruffy Nerfherder.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop!
And then Zoe just storms off.
I mean, she's really...
a very difficult specimen
to read sometimes.
If you know what I mean.
But I-
You just can't act like that
if you wanna be one of the guys.
Maybe... she doesn't
wanna be one of the guys.
She likes you.
But I didn't-
But she kind of just-
Jesus Murphy!
Wow. Okay.
What-What should I do?
Well, /f there's one th/ng
I learned be/ng an escort.
It's that actions speak louder than words.
Did you just say "escort"?
Fantastic.
Shh!
- I don't think we're alone.
- Yeah.
You're latel
It's all there-
maps, pass codes...
phony I.D.'s to get you past the front gates,
but that's not what's most important.
What's most important?
We never met.
- That's Capt-
- Yeah. I think-
I should- Hi.
I can't believe that these are classified.
And there's-
Look at the maps. I mean, there's badges.
And there's Trekk/n'w/th

------------------------------
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