their adenoids and appendixes and...
Anyway, enough, sorry.
I'm embarrassing you. So, what...
- I'm sorry. I have to go.
- Alex?
Alex. What's the matter?
Not a roll, not a kick,
not in two days.
Oh, I know
something's wrong.
There's something wrong.
Is that what you want to hear?
No!
All the drugs the father took
probably messed her up good.
- What drugs?
- I read up on Aerosmith.
Wasted for a decade.
Coke, booze, pills.
- What are you talking about?
- Which one is he?
Did you think it was someone
in the band? Is that what you thought?
Well, that's what you said.
No, that he was on tour
with them.
He's not in the band.
He's their personal trainer.
For God...
- Oh! She kicked.
- She kicked.
- She just kicked.
- All right, Larry, come with me now.
- What?
- Where did you get Junior?
-I told you.
-The truth! We're talking about my baby.
Keep your voice down.
All right.
I got it from Reddin's lab. So?
Well, it's Diana's.
- You mean, hers, personally?
- Yes!
You're supposed to get
an anonymous egg.
I tried.
Everybody was all out.
- Can you do anything right?
- Wait, don't start with me.
If you'd have stopped
taking the Expectane...
none of this would be an issue.
- What a horrible thing to say.
- Well, it's the truth.
Keepin' it goin' was your idea,
not mine.
Women have such convenient memories
when they're pregnant.
Now take that back.
All right, that was a Freudian slip.
I know you're not a woman.
No. The part about I should
have ended it. Junior heard that.
- Now take it back.
- For cryin' out loud. I take it back.
No, mean it.
All right, Junior, I'm sorry.
I take it back.
I just felt a kick.
Come. Feel it.
- No, I don't think so.
- Come on. Just feel it.
- Come. We need a healing experience.
- Give me a break, will ya?
Just do it!
Here.
Just watch. Be patient.
- Did you see that? Right there.
- Yeah.
- Oh, see his little feet go.
- Right there!
Oh, it feels so good.
Can you believe this?
- What's goin' on?
- What? Nothin'.
- What?
- You were touching him.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
I can't deal with this.
Can't deal with what?
What are you? What are you two,
like a... What are you, a twosome?
What? No.
What is goin' on around here?
He's...
He's pregnant.
I'm gonna be a mama too.
- You're sure it's the Expectane?
- Absolutely.
We compared what you gave us with
the sample we had on file in the lab.
Who do they think
they're dealing with?
That's what really hurts. Well,
we're gonna have to find out who she is.
- And there's something else.
- What?
The sample that you gave us, it was
part Expectane and part female hormones.
Estrogens and progesterone,
to be exact.
Wouldn't that be consistent
with an assisted pregnancy?
Not a dosage of this size. This is
more like the amount you'd take, say...
preparing for a sex change operation.
Oh, my God!
You're doing some more charting.
We'll have to do the whole thing again.
- Diana.
- We're busy.
Please, I need
to talk to you.
You need to apologize
to me, don't you?
About last night,
I'm sorry, Diana.
- Please let me explain.
- All right, then go on, explain.
Guys, would you mind?
What?
I'm pregnant.
Good explanation.
I really am pregnant.
What?
I tested the Expectane
on myself.
We fertilized an egg and
implanted it into my abdomen.
With drug and hormone supplements,
I'm now seven months to term.
Oh, my God!
There's more.
More?
Larry was supposed to find
an anonymous egg...
and he couldn't.
So he borrowed one
from your dairy section.
- It's Junior.
- My Junior?
Our Junior now.
Our Junior?
Our Junior!
- Diana, please, don't be angry.
- Why should I be angry?
You've lied to me,
you steal from me...
you engage in
an utterly immoral...
selfish, arrogant stunt without
any regard for my feelings whatsoever.
What... What am I
supposed to be, grateful?
This is just... so male!
- I'm sorry, Diana.
- Just don't come near me!
- I never wanted to hurt