really hurts. Well,
we're gonna have to find out who she is.
- And there's something else.
- What?
The sample that you gave us, it was
part Expectane and part female hormones.
Estrogens and progesterone,
to be exact.
Wouldn't that be consistent
with an assisted pregnancy?
Not a dosage of this size. This is
more like the amount you'd take, say...
preparing for a sex change operation.
Oh, my God!
You're doing some more charting.
We'll have to do the whole thing again.
- Diana.
- We're busy.
Please, I need
to talk to you.
You need to apologize
to me, don't you?
About last night,
I'm sorry, Diana.
- Please let me explain.
- All right, then go on, explain.
Guys, would you mind?
What?
I'm pregnant.
Good explanation.
I really am pregnant.
What?
I tested the Expectane
on myself.
We fertilized an egg and
implanted it into my abdomen.
With drug and hormone supplements,
I'm now seven months to term.
Oh, my God!
There's more.
More?
Larry was supposed to find
an anonymous egg...
and he couldn't.
So he borrowed one
from your dairy section.
- It's Junior.
- My Junior?
Our Junior now.
Our Junior?
Our Junior!
- Diana, please, don't be angry.
- Why should I be angry?
You've lied to me,
you steal from me...
you engage in
an utterly immoral...
selfish, arrogant stunt without
any regard for my feelings whatsoever.
What... What am I
supposed to be, grateful?
This is just... so male!
- I'm sorry, Diana.
- Just don't come near me!
- I never wanted to hurt you.
- What did you think you were doing?
You think men don't have enough?
You have to take this away as well?
You... It's... It's pitiful!
Let me shake hands
with the Man Who Would Be Mom.
-What are you talking about?
-The greatest scientific breakthrough...
in the history of this university.
Bravo, Doctor.
You know, we're in this together, now.
We have a contract.
And I quote, "Exploitation of results
from university-funded research...
shall be at the sole discretion
of the university. "
- Come on. I've ordered some tests.
- Leave me alone.
- He said to leave him alone.
- Escort Dr. Hesse to the ambulance.
Can't allow it!
He's in a very delicate condition.
I'm really disappointed in you, Diana.
You and your baby
are university property now.
No, I'm not.
My body, my choice.
Yes!
Come on, Alex.
Go!
Just easy, easy. Breathe. Breathe.
- That was really scary.
- Relax. I gotta hide you.
- That ought to be easy.
- Yeah.
- So what did Diana say?
- She said I was selfish and arrogant.
That we'd taken away her dignity
and the sacred role of womanhood.
Typical. I can't tell you how many times
I've heard pregnant women complain...
"I just wish a man
could go through this. "
You finally do it, and what do you get?
Attitude and insults.
- Yeah, you're right.
- Oh, I'm tellin' ya.
Alex, are you sure you're gonna
be able to go through with this?
I think so.
I don't have a lot of choice.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Whoa, it's nice. Hello.
- How are you?
- Hi.
- It's quite a place. Hi.
- Hello.
- You must be Mr. and Mrs. Hesse?
- Yes.
Welcome.
Welcome to Casitas Madres.
I think of Casitas Madres as
a health resort for expectant mothers.
We want you to completely relax
while you're here.
That's really good news because
that's exactly what Alexandra needs...
to just totally relax.
Would you have some lemonade,
Larry, Alexandra?
I'll have a little
if it's okay.
I realize that my appearance
might be a bit startling.
It is sometimes difficult
for people to take.
If I may speak
to your concerns?
Yes, by all means.
When I was a sportswoman in the East
German Olympic track-and-field team...
they dispensed anabolic steroids
as freely...
as here in America
they dole out Gatorade.
They pushed it on them.
I mean, just...
Nothing was mentioned
of the side effects...
that are now so obviously,
painfully apparent.
But I'm all woman.
- Believe you me.
- Of course.
I'm almost eight months