very well, did I?
-Hey.
-Hi.
I went out with this girl last night.
Halfway through our date I realized...
...I already slept with her.
You've slept with all the women in N.Y.,
and now you're going around again?
That's not even the weird part.
-She didn't remember sleeping with me!
-You don't remember sleeping with her.
But she should remember sleeping
with me. I am very memorable!
-You guys know.
-How do we know?
-We've never slept with you.
-And whose fault is that?
What's the big deal?
You forgot, she forgot.
-Maybe you were having an off night.
-Hey!
I never have an off night. Okay?
Although, sometimes if I'm
a little bloated, I don't feel that sexy.
But even then, I'm better than most!
Honey, why don't you just let it go
and ask her out again?
You're both so slutty, you don't
remember who you slept with.
You're made for each other.
Interesting.
Well, I'll go out with her again
and I'll try to get past it.
No salt! Bloaty!
-Joey?
-What?
You don't think
sharks are sexy, do you?
No.
Wait a minute.
Wait, what was the Little Mermaid?
It's open!
-Hey.
-Mike called! We're going out again!
Quick thing.
I went to talk to Mike.
What?
What did you--?
What did you do, Ross?
Oh, boy. You got mad at that part.
I went over there, you know,
to tell him how....
How great you are. But....
Well, you know me.
Blah-blah-blah.
-And I ended up telling him that....
-What?
You had a six-year-long relationship...
...with a guy named Vikram.
What? Why?
Well, he seemed...
...to bum hard when I told him you'd
never been in a serious relationship.
If you hadn't just had a baby
with my best friend...
...I swear to Lucifer...
...a rabid dog would be feasting
on your danglers right now!
I think you'll feel differently
when you know...
...a little bit about Vikram.
Okay, he's a....
He's a kite designer.
And he used to date Oprah.
I'm not going along
with some lie you made up, Ross.
-I'm just gonna be honest with him.
-Good.
Just be honest with him.
-I have nothing to be ashamed of.
-No.
So I haven't been in a relationship
that lasted longer than a month.
Okay? I haven't had a real boyfriend.
If he can't handle it,
then he can leave. Which he will.
And, you know, that's okay.
So I'll just be alone forever.
You know, all right.
It'll be fine. It'll be fine.
I'll go on walking tours
with widows and lesbians.
-I'll get it.
-Okay.
I'm trying to remember the last time
I opened a door and you weren't there.
Phoebe, are you okay?
Yeah. There's just....
There's something you should know.
Vikram just called.
So it was really a shock
after 25 years of marriage...
...my parents getting divorced.
I took it the hardest...
-...because I was the youngest.
-Sure. Yeah.
How can you not remember me?
What?
How could you not remember
that we slept together?
-What? When?
-I don't know!
I really, really think
I would remember sleeping with you.
Come on, come on.
Search your brain, all right? It was...
...a certain amount of time ago.
I was here. You were here.
We had sex here, here, here....
Not there.
-Anything?
-No, it's not ringing any bells.
My God, woman!
How many people have you been with
not to remember this?
Hey, Hayley.
We really gotta fix that doorknob.
Joey?
I slept with you!
And you obviously remember me!
Hey, I still got it!
So we're good.
I'll let myself out.
And I said, "Okay, Vikram...
...you can't just call
every time you get lonely.
You gave up that right
when you slept with Rachel."
Rachel? I thought she just
had a baby with Ross.
Yeah, well....
Yeah.
But Emma's birth certificate
might say "Geller" ...
...but her eyes say "Mukherjee."
That is so wrong.
And on top of that, he's a glue sniffer?
I know. But he calls,
and my heart goes to him.
You know, that bastard is one
smooth-talking freelance kite designer.
I think there's somebody
better out there for you.
I mean, you know, I'm--
I'm not saying me, but....