for her...
...the last nine months,
that she just doesn't want to leave.
Oh, look at you making up crap for me.
- Oh, God.
- Okay. Okay.
Twenty-one hours. You're a hero.
Do something! Get me drugs...
...or you light a fire up in there
and just smoke it out!
I think you're ready to go
to the delivery room.
What?
Ten centimeters.
You're about to become a mom.
Oh, my God. Okay.
Beat you, sucker! Oh, baby.
Oh, my God! That's the doctor
who was in my room before.
Oh. Okay, Mr. Percocet.
I'm telling you, the guy
from that show was here...
...asking me all these weird questions.
Do you really believe that a character
from a TV show was here?
Rachel's having her baby!
That's him! You know him?
Okay. Okay. I... Okay.
I sent my friend, Joey,
in here to find out stuff about you.
If it, you know, if it helps,
you came off great.
A lot better than I'm coming off
right now.
I don't believe this. You had him
pretend he was a fake doctor?
Fake? Excuse me? Hello?
- You tried making me think I was crazy?
- That was wrong. I'm so sorry.
It's just that I liked you so much.
Can we just start over?
I don't think so.
If I may? You told me a lot
of personal stuff about you, right?
Now, maybe it would help if you knew
some personal stuff about her.
She was married to a gay ice dancer.
She gave birth to her
brother's triplets.
Her twin sister used to do porn.
- We're trying to dial down the crazy.
- Right.
We don't know each other,
so it'd be easy to forget this...
...but there's something between us.
I don't know about you...
...but that doesn't happen to me a lot.
- It doesn't happen to me, either.
- Me, neither!
Push. Push. We're gonna push
for five more seconds.
Five, four...
Three, two, one! Oh!
The next contraction will be
in 20 seconds.
- I can't push anymore!
- You're doing great.
Oh, God! Twenty seconds, my ass!
Here we go. Okay, keep pushing.
- Come on.
- Push. Wait.
- I see something.
- What, you do? You do? Oh, my God!
- Don't say "Oh, my God!" What?!
- What is that?
The baby's buttocks. She's breech.
- I thought she had two heads.
- Oh, God!
Will she be okay?
- She'll be fine.
- Yeah.
She's in a difficult position,
so push hard.
- Okay.
- Go. Come on. Go! Go!
You'll have to push harder.
- I'm sorry, I can't! I can't!
- Yes, you can. I know you can do this.
I can't do it.
Please, you do it for me!
Let's go. One more time.
One final push. Ready? One, two, three.
Good.
Keep pushing!
Are you okay?
You have no idea how much this hurts.
Keep going! Keep going!
Here we go!
She's upside down, but she's coming!
- Oh, God!
- Oh! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, she's here.
Oh, she's perfect.
Oh, wow! Oh, she's so tiny.
- Where'd she go?
- They're just wrapping her up.
Okay. Well, be careful with her,
she's really tiny.
Here she is.
Oh, thanks for coming out of me.
I know. Oh.
She's looking at me. Hi. I know you.
- Do we have a name yet?
- No, not yet.
Fine. For now we'll just
call her Baby Girl Greene.
Oh, no. Baby Girl Geller-Greene.
Hello, Baby Girl.
- Can we come in?
- Oh, come on in.
- Oh, there she is.
- Oh, she's so beautiful.
Here.
Oh, my God. She's amazing.
Oh, I'm so glad you guys got drunk
and had sex.
It's incredible. I mean,
one minute she's inside you...
...and then 47 hours later,
here she is.
She looks so real.
You know what I mean.
- Okay, my turn. My turn.
- Aunt Phoebe.
Oh, baby. Oh, you're so cute!
Oh, I could squeeze your little head.
I won't.
- Honey, what's the matter?
- Nothing. I just can't stop crying.
The doctor said it's normal,
plus you're sleep-deprived.
You guys are all sleep-deprived.
I don't see you weeping because you
put your slippers on the wrong feet.
Oh, God.
- What's the matter now?
- I was reliving it.
Do you know what you're gonna
call her yet?
Wait, it's not gonna be Baby Girl?
I thought that was so original.
Actually, we've narrowed it
down to two.
And you know what?