size of my fist.
Hey, Phoebe? Look...
...I want to apologize. Okay?
We were being jerks.
- Parker's nice, I'd like to know him.
- You better do it now.
- Why?
- Because I'm gonna kill him.
- What?
- He's too excited about everything.
I'm all for living, but this is
the Gellers' 35th anniversary.
Let's call a spade a spade.
This party stinks.
I'm having the worst time.
There was a line for the buffet,
and when I got to the plates...
...I slipped on a giant booger.
Are you sure it wasn't an oyster?
It could've been.
I didn't look at it.
I wiped it on Chandler's coat
and got the hell out.
I thought he was a great guy.
I was so excited about him.
Well, hey, you should
be excited about him.
There's nothing wrong with him.
- You think?
- Yeah, know what?
- We were all just being too negative.
- You're right.
He's just embracing life. We could
all stand to be more like Parker.
You know what? I'm like him!
I'm a positive person!
- Actually, you have an edge.
- What's that?
- Oh, it's Parker!
- Look, the Bunny Hop!
- Oh, I love it!
- You do?
Are you kidding? People acting
like animals to music? Come on!
Okay, it's time for the toast.
I know normally Ross gives the toast,
but this year I'll do it.
No, it's gonna be great. Really.
Okay.
Mom, Dad, when I got married...
...the thing that made me sure I could
do it was the example you two set.
For that, and other things,
I want to thank you.
I know I probably don't
say it enough...
...but I love you.
When I look around, I'm saddened by the
thought of those who could not be here.
Nana, my beloved grandmother,
who would so want to be here.
But she can't...
...because she's dead.
As is our dog, Chi-Chi.
I mean, look how cute she is... was.
Do me a favor,
pass this to my parents.
Remember she's dead, okay?
Her and Nana, gone.
Wow!
Does anybody remember when...
...Debra Winger had to say goodbye to
her children in Terms of Endearment?
Didn't see that?
No movie fans?!
You want to hear something sad?
I was watching a 60 Minutes
piece on orphans in Romania...
...who have been so neglected
that they were incapable of love.
You people are made of stone!
Here's to Mom and Dad. Whatever!
Thank you, Monica.
That was interesting.
- Wasn't it interesting, Jack?
- Why don't I remember this dog?
Ross? Why don't you give us
your toast now?
Oh, no, Mom.
It's just Monica this year.
You're not saying anything?
On our 35th wedding anniversary?
No, of course.
Everybody? I just wanted to say...
...on behalf of my new bride, Rachel...
...and myself, that if...
...if in 35 years, we're half
as happy as you guys are...
...we'll count ourselves
the luckiest people in the world.
Oh, Ross.
I just wish Nana were alive
to hear Ross' toast.
My God, what a fantastically
well-lit hallway.
Can I get you something to drink,
like a water and Valium?
I must say, this apartment,
it's... there are no words.
- Thank God.
- It's a haven.
- A third-floor paradise, a modern Eden.
- Yeah, I know, I know. Gotcha.
Listen, why don't we just sit and
relax, just be with each other quietly.
That sounds great.
This is the most comfortable couch
I've ever sat on.
Let's try something.
Let's play a game.
- I love games.
- Shocking.
Let's play the game of...
...who can stay quiet the longest.
Or Jenga.
Let's play this one first, and
remember, whoever talks first loses.
- I lose, now Jenga.
- Oh, my God.
- Is something wrong?
- You know the word "wrong"?
Everything isn't perfect or magical?
Everything isn't aglow
with the light of fairies?
- They were just brake lights, Parker!
- Excuse me for seeing good in traffic.
You don't have to put
a good spin on everything!
- I'm sorry. I'm a positive person.
- No, I'm a positive person.
You are like Santa Claus on Prozac.
At Disneyland, getting laid!
You want me to be negative?
You want me to be less happy?
Much less happy.
Fine. Well, then to quote Ross,
"I