along with this.
- We have to pretend that we're married?
- I had to shave my ears.
You can do this.
- Can you believe that?
- I know.
If you do the ears, you may as well
take a pass at the nose.
I don't want to have to lie
about being married.
I don't either. But it's their party,
and it's one night.
We don't have to lie.
We won't talk.
If it comes up,
we'll smile, we'll nod along...
- Ross?
- Rachel?
Hi, Aunt Lisa. Uncle Dan.
Congratulations on the baby
and on the wedding.
- Here's something to start you out.
- How's marriage treating you?
- Unbelievable. It's great!
- I love marriage.
We'll see you later.
- Hey!
- Hi!
What a beautiful place.
What a great night.
I have to tell you, being here
with all of you in Event Room C...
...I feel so lucky. Think of the good
times that happened here.
The birthdays, the proms,
the mitzvahs, both bar and bat!
None will compare with tonight.
I don't want to forget it.
It's like I want to take a mental
picture of you all. Click.
I don't think the flash went off.
- I'm gonna find the men's room.
- Me too.
There is someone with a tranquilizer
gun and a net looking for that man.
I have to go too, but I don't
want him complimenting my thing.
Glad we weren't in the car.
Did he let up?
He called the Long Island
Expressway a "concrete miracle."
This room. This night.
That waiter! His shoes!
I must take a mental picture!
Sorry.
Were you guys making fun of Parker?
That depends, how much did you hear?
He's a little enthusiastic.
What's wrong with that?
- It's so much.
- Well, so what? I like him.
Do I make fun of the people you date?
Tag, Janice, Mona.
No, because friends don't do that.
Do you want my opinion?
Your collective dating record reads
like a who's who of human crap!
- I feel terrible.
- I know.
What was wrong with Mona?
- Open it, open it, open it.
- Yeah, baby!
So we never got to hear
about your wedding.
- We were surprised we weren't invited.
- No, it was a small wedding.
But it was beautiful.
It was small, but kind of spectacular.
- Where did you have it?
- On a cliff in Barbados, at sunset.
And Stevie Wonder sang "Isn't She
Lovely" as I walked down the aisle.
- Stevie's a family friend.
- Oh, my God. That's amazing.
- I'd love to see pictures.
- Yeah, so would I.
You wouldn't think Annie Liebowitz
would forget to put film in the camera.
Would you excuse us for a second?
- What are you doing?
- What? This may be my only wedding.
- And I want it to be amazing.
- Okay.
- Maybe I rode in on a Harley.
- Ross, it has to be realistic.
Say, are you okay?
You seem kind of quiet.
- No, I'm fine. I'm great. I'm with you.
- And I'm with you. What a great time!
Look at this plate bouncy thing.
What an inspired solution to man's
plate-dispensing problems.
Oysters! Let me feed you.
That's not necessary.
- Please?
- I don't eat...
- I won't quit until you try one.
- Okay, fine.
- Good.
- What're they like? I've never had one.
- Try one.
- They look too weird.
- What are you doing?
- Going over my toast.
I can't wait. They'll cry so hard,
they'll be fighting for breath.
If you want to, I could just
hold them down and you could just...
And my veil was lace,
made by blind Belgian nuns.
- Blind?
- Not at first, but it's intricate work.
They said even though they lost
their sight, it was worth it.
- I bet you looked beautiful.
- Well, I don't know.
But there were some people that said
I looked like a floating angel.
- How did you propose?
- Oh, yeah, that's a great story.
Well, actually, I took her
to the planetarium.
That's where we had our first date.
I had the room filled with lilies,
her favorite flower.
- That is so sweet!
- I want to hear the rest!
Then Fred Astaire singing,
"The Way You Look Tonight" came on...
...the lights came down,
I got on one knee...
...and written across the dome,
in the stars, were the words:
"Will you marry me?"
And the ring was the