hit on her?
No, no, no. My talents as an actor.
You know, I could, like, maybe...
I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books.
Or you could stick a fork in an apple!
Hey, I think Emma might like it.
Oh, Emma might like what?
Um...my present.
Oh, what did you get her?
Actually we prepared performances.
Well, separate performances.
But equally real.
Oh, that sounds like fun!
Well, you know what? Actually...
People are getting a little antsy
waiting for Emma to wake up from her nap.
So would you mind performing them once now?
Sure, yeah
Yeah?
O....kay
Okay?
Everybody, let's get this party started, huh?
Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform
a little something for us.
Oh, great!
Aren't you gonna be embarrassed going up there?
having nothing prepared?
Hey, I do it every week with 3 cameras
pointing at me and the whole crew waiting.
So Joey, what are you gonna do for us?
Uh...I will be doing a dramatic reading
of one of Emma's books.
Oh.  Okay.
Which one?
Oh, well, it's, uh ...
One of her favorites.
Riding the storm out:
coping with postpartum depression. Yeeesh!
Love you forever.
Love you forever by Robert Munch.
published by Firefly books. Printed...
in Mexico.
A mother held her new baby
and very slowly rocked him back and forth
Back and forth. Back and forth.
And while she held him, she sang
"I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always as long as I'm living
my baby you'll be."
And while he rocked her, he sang
"I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."
Wow!
That was amazing.
Thank you so much for that gift.
I was not ready for this today.
Amazing, amazing.
Oh, Phoebe. I'm sorry.
Phoebe has prepared something as well.
That's right. I prepared a song for Emma.
From my heart to hers.
For there's no greater gift
than the gift of music.
ўЬ Emma! ўЬ
ўЬ Your name poses a dilemma ўЬ
ўЬ Cause not much else rhymes with Emma ўЬ
ўЬ Maybe the actor Richard Crenna ўЬ
ўЬ He played the commanding officer in Rambo ўЬ
ўЬ Happy birthday , Emma ўЬ
Is that it?
No, of course not.
No, no, I've also, you know,
prepared a reading.
Sex and the single mother.
Finding your G-spot.
No!
Hello Emma. Happy 18th birthday.
Right now that seems so far away.
Seventeen years.
Yes. You'll be all grown up by then and we'll be...
Well, your grandfather and I might not be here.
That's true. This message could be coming to you
from beyond the grave, Emma.
After all, my parents died very young.
And my cholesterol's off the charts!
Remember, Emma.
Heart disease kills women, too.
Okay, cut!
Great, great. That was, that was just...yeah.
Ross, um, don't forget to get
a shot of Emma's cake.
It's in a box in the fridge. / Okay, sure.
Oh, you're gonna love this cake.
I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Carino's .
Oh my God. That place has the creamiest frosting.
I used to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Well, anyway. They make these great novelty cakes
in all different shapes and if you give them a photo
they'll copy it in icinig.
Oh, did you do a picture of Emma?
Yes, on a cake shaped like a bunny.
Oh, Rach. Does this bakery by any chance also bake
erotic cakes?
Say, for bachelorette parties?
Ross, what are you talking...
Oh, My God!
They put my baby's face on a penis!
Oh, now it's a party!
You guys, this isn't funny. Alright?
If I wanted this cake to be a disaster,I would've baked it myself!
Uh....Is it okay that I still think it looks delicious?
Jack, look at this.
I know what you're thinking, Judy.
The resemblance is uncanny.
I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
No, no, this is not what I ordered.
Okay? I went all the way to New Jersey
so that I could have the perfect cake
for my daughter's birthday
and I need a bunny cake right now!
Ask him if it will be faster
if we cut the baby's face off the penis
so we could put it on the bunny.
That is a weird sentence.
Oh, believe you me,
I am