watched the show! What'd you think?
Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.
What is this dive? Only you could've picked this place.
Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
I know I am.
Who's doing shots?
Yeah.
I'm in.
There y'go. Ross?
Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy.
Hi! Sorry- sorry we're late, we, uh, kinda just, y'know, lost track of time.
...But a man can change. (Downs a shot)
Anyone want me to appraise anything?
Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
Myyy mother, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, any messages for room 226?
You okay there, slugger?
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
What is with you tonight?
Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.
Okay, thank you.It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
No. It's the one he's licking.
She's supposed to be with you.
You're good.
Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?
The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?
No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off.
When?
He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.
The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
No, it's you!
Please.
No, really, c'mon. You're smart, you're sexy...
Right.
You are gonna be fine, believe me.
Uh-oh...
Uhhhh.... I'll just pee in the street.
Hey, is Chandler here?
Yeah.
Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?
Right. No big deal.
Okay.
In Bizarro World!! You broke the code!
What code?
You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-lookin' aunt... but not a mom, never a mom!
What are you guys doing out here?
Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.
Yeah, well, you don't have your racket.
No, no I don't, because it's being restrung, somebody was supposed to bring me one.
Yeah, well you didn't call and leave your grip size.
Okay, you guys spend waaaay too much time together.
Okay, I'm scum, I'm scum.
Ross, how could you let this happen?
I don't know, God, I... well, it's not like she's a regular mom, y'know? She's, she's sexy, she's...
You don't think my mom's sexy?
Well... not in the same way...
I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?
Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here...
Hey./Hey.
What're you guys doing out here?
Well, not playing raquetball!
He forgot to leave his grip size!
He didn't get the goggles!
Well,sounds like you two have issues.
Goodbye, baby.
Ciao, bela.
Do they wait for me to do this?
So are you gonna tell him?
Why would I tell him?
How about 'cause if you don't, his mother might.
Oh...
What are you guys doing here?
Uhhhh.... he's not even wearing a jockstrap!
...What did I ask?
Hi./Hi.
What are you doing here?
Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here?
I'm not really here. Just thought I'd drop these off...on the way.. my way... Do you come here a lot? Without me?
No. No! No! ...So, um, do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning?
How would I know? I-I wasn't here.
Really? Not even to, um, change his PAJAMAS?!
Oh my God.
You're my friend. I-I