Some ride, huh?
Holy shit!
- What the...?
- I'm gonna back it up!
It's been 26 years
since my last confession.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
God bless Mom and Dad...
Knock it off!
Take a break, a little cause to pause
here on the Big Bus.
- Here's what we have to do.
- What?
Shift some weight from the front
of the bus to the back.
- OK. I'll go.
- Not you!
There's 1,500 gallons
of soft drinks behind us.
- We'll pump it into the kitchen.
- That'll rupture the dispensers.
No problem. We'll airlock.
This is your captain speaking.
Is there anyone in the kitchen?
- That's it. Airlock.
- Roger, airlocking.
That's it. Get up there now.
- Airlocked.
- Commence pumping.
- Nesbitt's Orange.
- Nesbitt's Orange.
Root beer.
- Fresca?
- Fresca.
- Coca-Cola.
- Roger. Coca-Cola.
It's working.
We'll freeze to death if you
don't turn off the air conditioning.
I'm sorry, but the electrical
system's gone haywire.
I'd better talk to the passengers.
This is your captain speaking.
- Boo!
- Get outta here, creep.
There'll be a slight delay.
We're at an altitude of 6,200 feet
at the front and 6,208 at the rear.
Thank you for ridin' Coyote.
It's Mount Diablo all over again.
Dan! Help!
Where are you?
- In the kitchen. Hurry up, or I'll drown.
- Hang on!
To what?
Do somethin' fast.
I open the airlock, I flood the bus.
I don't, Kitty drowns.
All these decisions...
How many have I made today?
Twelve.
This is number 13, huh?
All right, I'm making a decision.
- I'm getting Kitty.
- "Getting Kitty."
But, Dan, 180 people!
We'll go over the cliff!
- Kitty's my girl!
- Mary Jane Beth Sue's a nice girl...
Knock it off! I'm a one-girl guy.
- Take my seat.
- But I ain't a captain.
- I'm givin' you a roadside commission.
- Hey, thanks.
I'm coming, Kitty. What the...?
Howdy, Captain, this is my son
Dennis and my wife Emma Mae.
Whaddya say...?
Get outta my way.
- You've got to marry us.
- I got no time for that.
Please, we can't live without each other.
We should never have divorced.
- How long you divorced?
- Six hours.
- Give it a chance!
- We want to die married.
Please, my Captain, please...
- You take this woman to be your wife?
- I...
- You take this man to be your husband?
- I...
You're married! Tommy, hit it!
Bartender, one round of drinks!
I'm coming!
I'm coming, Kitty. Hang on.
Shoulders! Shoulders!
Shoulders!
Oh, my goof.
Dan! Dan!
My foot's caught! Help!
I'm coming, Kitty. Forgive me.
Forgive me for leaving you at the church.
Forgive me for cheating on you with that
carhop, that switchboard operator,
that drum majorette.
I lied about 'em all, Kitty.
Your best friend, Toby, your cousin
Brenda, your cousin Charlotte,
your good-Iookin' aunt.
Dan, turn off your intercom.
You're killing me.
Aw, shit!
I'll kill Aunt Florence.
If it's not one thing, it's another.
Hang on, Kitty, I'm coming.
Hang in there.
My foot's caught.
- I'll get it loose.
- That's no problem for you.
Why don't you just eat it?
Thank you. If it weren't for you
we'd all freeze.
That's right, darling... Oh, no, no, no!
No photographs. Absolute secrecy.
I'm not about to have anyone
steal my fall collection.
That's sweet on you. Lovely.
I like the yellow.
Lose the apples, please.
Oh, that hat...
Red on red.
Like dressing a bunch of cattle.
- How's this?
- No, darling. That's not you.
Try this coat.
- You gonna wear her clothes?
- Why not? Last night, she wore mine.
Try it sometime. Open your mind.
You gotta learn how to live.
You did the right thing. Never liked
the idea of single people balling.
It's nice. Satin. It's like Bishop Shennan,
er, red, but, er...
- I can't see a thing.
- I can't get my foot loose.
Go on, save the bus. Forget about me.
Nothin' doin'!
Kitty, I want you to know something.
- Every woman I kissed, held, caressed...
- Oh, Dan.
...every time I went to the Ajax Motel,
I was always thinking of you.
Don't