gear is down,
and we're ready to land.
All right. He's on final now. Put out
all runway lights except niner.
Captain, maybe we ought
to turn on the searchlights now.
No.
That's just what they'll
be expecting us to do.
l want to tell you both good luck.
We're all counting on you.
Now listen carefully. You'll see
the runway at 300 feet.
Aim to touch down a third of the way.
A slight cross wind, so be ready.
lf you land too fast, use your emergency
brakes. Red handle's right in front.
lf that doesn't stop you...
lf that doesn't stop you,
cut the four ignition switches.
Can you see us now?. You should
be able to see the field.
- Sure is quiet out there.
- Yeah, too quiet.
Looks like l picked the wrong week
to quit sniffing glue.
There it is.
There he is!
- You're coming in too fast.
- l know, l know!
He knows, he knows!
Below 700 now. Still going down.
675, 650, 625, he's holding.
No, he's down, he's down.
Sound your alarm now.
Now, everybody,
get in crash positions.
Put down 30 degrees of flap.
Listen to me. Remember your brakes
and switches. Get ready to flare it out!
He's all over the place.
900 up to 1 ,300 feet. What an asshole.
More left rudder, Put down more flap,
Just kidding!
Striker, lift your nose,
Straighten your wings,
Coming in too fast. Watch your speed.
He's coming right at us!
Coming in too hot.
Ease up on the throttle.
Watch out for that cross wind,
Level it out, Dip your left wing,
You're drifting, Keep your eyes
on the far end of the runway,
You're too low, damn it!
Watch your stall speed,
Flare it out!
Ease her down. Down!
The brake! Pull the red handle!
l want to tell you both good luck.
We're all counting on you.
Flight 209 now arriving at gate eight,
Gate nine,
Gate ten,
Pull out of it! Push that button!
Gate 13,,, Gate 1 4,
Gate 15,,,
Auntie Em! Toto! lt's a twister!
Gate 23, 24, 25,,,
l want to tell you both good luck.
We're all counting on you.
Striker?
- Striker, are you all right?
- Yeah. We're OK.
That was probably the lousiest landing
in the history of this airport.
But some of us, particularly me,
would like to buy you a drink
and shake your hand,
And, Ted, when the going got rough,,,
Have a nice day. OK.
Have a nice day and thank you
for flying TransAmerican.
Loneliness, that's the bottom line,
l was never happy as a child,
Christmas, what does that mean
to you? Mine was a living hell,
Do you know what it's like to fall
in the mud and get kicked in the head
by an iron boot?
Of course not. lt never happens. Sorry.
That's a dumb question. Skip that.
There you go. Have a nice day.
Municipal bonds, Ted.
l'm talking double ''A'' rating.
Best investment in America.
Well, l'll give him
another 20 minutes, but that's it.
ENGLlSHThe white zone is for immediate loading
and unloading of passengers only.
There is no stopping in the red zone.
The white zone is for immediate loading
and unloading of passengers only.
There is no stopping in the red zone.
The white zone is for immediate loading
and unloading of passengers only.
There is no stopping in
the red zone.
The white zone is for immediate loading
and unloading of passengers only.
There is no stopping
in the red zone.
Hello. Take this flower from the
Religious Consciousness Church.
- Would you care to make a donation?
- No, but thank you anyway.
The red zone is for immediate loading
and unloading of passengers only.
There's no stopping
in the white zone.
No. The white zone is for
loading and unloading.
There's no stopping in the red zone.
The red zone's always been
for loading and unloading.
There's never stopping
in a white zone.
Don't tell me which zone's for stopping
and which is for loading.
Listen Betty, don't start up with
your white zone shit again.
Hello, take this flower from the
Religious Consciousness Church.
Would you like to make a donation?
No, thanks. We gave at the office.
Would you put all your metal objects