do
such a thing ?
Somebody had to defend
mrs. Ochmonek's honor.
Don't you realize
what a chance
you were taking ?
Things were getting
out of hand.
I just wanted to be
the voice of reason.
You missed it, alf --
They just voted you
cuckoo of the week.
Again ?
Where's lizard
taking you ?
To a science
fiction movie --
About this guy
being shrunk,
Then injected
into someone else.
That's not
science fiction.
A friend of mine
did that once.
He took a wrong turn and
got stuck in the guy's nose.
I didn't tell you
how he got out.
We don't want to know.
Hi, dad.
Hi,
honey.
Hi, honey.
What's the
good word ?
The good word is --
It looks like
you're safe.
Trevor's taking
down all the
posters.
Heat's off ?
I'll be at
the beach.
I've got
sunblock.
You're staying here.
What's the
bad word ?
Raquel.
I feel just terrible
for her.
She's so affected by this
that she won't talk to anyone.
She just sits by the tv,
staring at the screen.
How's trevor ?
Not
well.
He said he wanted to
go for a long walk,
To search through
his feelings,
And possibly bowl
a few games.
Can't we do
something
for her ?
I'll go have a
talk with her.
Real smart,
spaceman.
I have to do
something.
The woman's
a turnip
because
of me.
It's true --
She thinks she's
lost her mind.
But i do exist.
I shed,
therefore i am.
What should we do ?
Talk to her;
be patient --
Convince her that she
didn't see an alien.
Let's face it.
I'm unforgettable.
Okay --
The alf broadcasting
company is on the air.
Greetings,
earth woman.
Raquel, can you
hear me ?
What's going on ?
Take it easy.
I'm the alien
you saw.
You remember me --
Mr. Potato head ?
He's everywhere.
Wait, spacemen
don't exist.
Everyone knows that.
We do exist.
I'm doing this
to show you --
You're still running
on all 3 cylinders.
Please don't
do this to me.
I've just begun to
resume a normal life.
Normal ?
Sitting around in
your bathrobe all day ?
Where are you ?
I'm out in space --
Deep, deep space.
Millions of light years
from earth.
Oh ! A meteor shower !
[Raquel]
what do you want ?
I want you to
regain your faith
and imagination --
Your girlish
love of life.
And i want you
to take art lessons.
What are you doing ?
Do not adjust
your set !
We are having
technical difficulties.
You'll only
make things
worse.
Au contraire.
I'm trying to help.
Just give me a chance.
Who are you talking to ?
My crew.
Get back, you lackeys.
Lackeys ?
If she sees you,
it'll ruin everything.
We're back.
Where did you go ?
Listen to me !
This is very important !
[Music]
There are many things
in this universe
You are not meant
to understand.
That doesn't mean
they're not real.
I'm real.
And whether other people
believe you or not,
You know i'm real.
Thank you.
[Music off]
Let me ask you
something --
Why are you wearing
all those utensils ?
That's one of the
things you're not
supposed to understand.
Here's
another
one --
Set a couple of
pumpkin pies
Out on your
back porch
Once a week.
Never question
why they disappear.
Uh, twice a week !
All right, i will.
Good girl !
I notice you
don't have a cat.
Remedy that !
Now, i must go.
Live long
and prosper.
May the force
be with you.
Phone home.
Go ahead and
make my day.
And don't forget
those pies !
Bye !
Thank you !
Thank you,
whoever you are.
Trevor.
Alf.
I know.
I did it again.
But i shouldn't
have done it.
I thought first
and spoke later.
No, i spoke first
and thought later.
What you did was --
You did a pretty
nice thing for
raquel.
You did.
We're proud of you.
Yeah ?I'm
something, huh.
Maybe i should get
a nobel peace prize.
Wouldn't that look nice
on the mantel ?
We might not have room
for your cuckoo of the
week award.
Right.
Forget it.
Gin.
What do
you have ?
39.
You owe me
$