know it... Bender, Bender!
OK, go to Kiev and that's it.
Why?
Go to Kiev...
...and that's it.
What do you mean -- Kiev?
Go to Kiev and ask what Panikovsky was
before the Revolution.
I insist upon your asking...
...and they will tell you that before the Revolution
Panikovsky was a blind man, Shura.
If it were not for the Revolution,...
...would I ever descend
to being the child of Lieutenant Schmidt?
Why, I was a wealthy man!
I had a house, a family,..
...nickel-plated samovar on my table.
- And how did I make my living, you'll ask?
- How?
Blue glasses and a little stick -
- just like this one!
Why did you quit this business?
The Revolution!
Prior to it I used to pay the policeman
5 rubles a month..
...and no one touched me.
The policeman even saw to it
that no one insulted me.
He was a fine man!
His name was Nebaba.
Such a crystal soul.
I met him the other day.
He is a music critic now.
But nowadays
a decent connections with the police...
The police! I know them better then you.
I was homeless! Oh, how I know them.
I hate them!
Oh, how I hate them.
And so in my old age,
I had to become an impostor.
Take my hand, Shura. Take it!
For this special business...
be it for you, Shura
I could resort to my old glasses and stick...
...and you'll see for yourself
that theft is much safer then robbery.
- Where is a men's room?
- Over there.
Mere theft... mere theft.
Yield to this poor blind man!
I'm sorry thousand times!
I'm sorry thousand times!
I'm sorry thousand times!
I need to cross to the other side.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
- Idiot! Can't you see the auto-bus!
- He is not a blind man! You dirty pickpocket!
Panikovsky's being beaten!
I said Panikovsky's being beaten!
Already?
Rather soon.
Panikovsky's being beaten!
Near "Hercules"! Around the corner!
Why do you bellow
like a white bear in hot weather?
How long have they been beating him?
- About five minutes.
- Why didn't you say so in the first place!
There's a silly old man for you!
Let's have a look.
You can tell me the rest on the way.
Pardon... another pardon.
Didn't you lose a permit for jam
there on the corner?
Run along quickly.
It's still lying there.
Madam, your child is crying in the bus.
Let the expert through, man.
Let me through, disfranchised kulak!
Give me more space.
This one?
Calm down, comrades. I shall ask the witnesses
to indicate their names and addresses.
Where are the witnesses?
Are you a witness?
Display your apprehension.
Perform your civic duty.
Where are witnesses, after all?
There is no place for hooligans in our city.
We must fight hooliganism.
Are you a witness? Give me your phone.
Move on, then.
- Who's a witness? You?
- Me...
Come with me...
Foolish old man! You crazy fool!
Another great blind man has been discovered!
Homer, Milton and Panikovsky!
The three cool blind men!
And as for Balaganov!
Like a sailor  from a wrecked ship!
"Panikovsky's being beaten!"
- While he himself... Hell, I'm likely to fire you!
- I wanted... I was going to rob him and that's it.
You are a pathetic nonentity.
He is the one to blame.
Don't you dare to touch me!
I have depletion of the nervous system.
You're a fine pair of bunglers!
I'm done with you.
No, Ostap Ibrahimovich! You'll see!
This will be a robbery in the street.
Under the cover of nocturnal darkness.
My honest and most honorable word.
Shura and I... It's a done deal.
Over my dead body!
Under the cover of nocturnal darkness.
- How warm it is! Don't you swim at night?
- No.
Well then, will you wait for me here?
I'll take a dip and be right back.
May I have a light?
I don't smoke.
Is that so? Can you tell me what time it is?
About twelve.
- Hands up!
- What?
I said "hands up".
What part of it you didn't understand?
Why are you beating me?
I merely asked you what time it was!
I'll show you what time it is.
Kick him! Kick him!
I dropped it accidentally. It's