artists
and stockings which run
a ladder all the time.
But why cry so hard?
I want to tell you...
This is important...
It's me, Timofei.
I want to tell you...
This is important.
- I love you.
- I love you.
Come to my place tonight.
I need you.
Come to my place tonight.
I need you.
- I want you, okay?
- I want you, okay?
- Will you come back?
- Will you come back?
- Forgive me. I love you.
- Forgive me. I love you.
And him?
Him? Him as well.
- It's all smudged.
- Wait, don't hang up.
- This is silly.
- Do you love me?
Yes.
We're coming to you
with the evening news.
I am Vera Kirillova.
'Sex on the Beach', please.
- 'Sex on the Beach'.
- Not with you, dear.
No, it's a cocktail with a...
Blue Curacao.
I believe you. But we don't
have anyone like that here.
Well, can you make an Orgasm?
Well, what's your problem?
- I can't tell you.
- Why?
Because no one
will understand me.
Why?
I'm in love with this guy.
But he... he loves men.
And I love women.
I think he has sex with men.
So what. And I have sex
with women.
- But why?
- J ust because.
I'm my own Moon,
my own sea...
And I'm my own road to where
there'll always be...
Ulumji, but you know
how much I love you.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- You're not at work?
- Not my shift.
- Thanks.
- That's not for you.
Timofei.
- Ivan Badmaevich.
- Pardon me?
- Ivan Badmaevich.
- This is my uncle Vanya.
- I n what sense?
- My uncle. My father's brother.
How do you like the cigars?
- Hi!
- Hi. Come on in.
Please meet U ncle Vanya.
- Who is that?
- His uncle.
- What is he doing here?
- Came to visit his nephew.
The uncle is going
to live here too?
No, don't go away.
I don't know
what to do with them.
When I was a man,
I could not allow myself
to dress like that.
You know, Ulumji,
I suffered so much,
consulted countless doctors.
And they all tried to dissuade
me. But I regret nothing.
I really recommend you do it.
Of course, it's not cheap.
But it's worth it.
You will find the money
for the operation, I hope?
He needs the support
from all of us at this time.
When I look at these
smooth arms of mine,
without a single hair,
I bless the Lord.
Yes, I bought this gorgeous
nail polish.
Try it.
And never regret the loss of
that small, unpleasant detail.
The operation is always done
under full sedation.
Hello, you're on.
Talk to us.
- I can't hear you.
- Talk to us.
- May I speak?
- Go ahead.
Finally I have reached you.
I'm Vasya from the Moscow Region.
Yesterday was
my girlfriend's birthday.
I want you to play a song
for her, and I want to say:
Masha, I love you so much.
Don't be angry, I just could
not reach you on the phone.
It just so happens,
by chance it seems
I've figured out
what eternity means
Can you film my deer in a commercial?
That's a great idea!
This is a present
for your deer...
- I've put on your gown, okay?
- Do I have an option?
- Good morning.
- Hi.
It's delicious!
Buddhism teaches us
the pleasure of simple things.
Like salted tea with butter.
Ulumji's grandma taught him
to cast away evil spirits
by stirring tea
exactly 22 times.
Little Ulumji spent every
summer with his grandma.
He and his friend
would herd sheep.
Once they made a fire
by a lake
and suddenly wanted
never to be apart.
Perhaps, we've all lived
through this kind of summer
when walking on earth
felt like flying.
Ulumji never forgot that summer.
- What's going on?
- It's my parents. I'm not here.
If you don't open up,
I'll turn you all in to the cops!
I can see you guys!
- What do we do now?
- Don't open the door!
Ulumji, we've come for you.
I've the right to live however
and with whomever I want.
I'm going to call the police!
I'll call the fire brigade and
the rescue squad!
- It's better to open.
- Why, I'm an adult.
- Gotta brothel happening here.
- You better talk with them.
- No, don't do it!
- They're your family.
I will talk to them myself...
- I