asked you, Stacy?
It's too long... I don't know.
Maybe we can get away with it.
Do you suppose
Stanley Kubrick gets depressed?
- Do you wanna work tonight, Joe?
- No, I gotta work on the show.
You have really got something... special.
All right...
All right!
I want so to be a movie star.
Oh?
Ever since I was a little kid,
I wanted to see my face
on the screen... 40 feet wide.
Oh, yeah?
I have always depended
on the kindness of strangers.
You're looking at my nose,
aren't you? It's crooked.
It goes to the left. See?
I mean, like, I could always
have that fixed. Like that.
Do you think I could be?
You know. A movie star.
In the movies.
Well, that's...
I don't know anybody
that could answer that question.
It's... it's a very freaky business, you know?
Yeah, I know all about that,
but, like, I wanna know what you think.
Do you think I could be a movie star?
No.
Even with a nose job?
Well, that's fair.
Like you said, it is a freaky business, though.
You know, you could be wrong, right?
Right.
I don't dance so hot either, do I?
You will. I promise you.
You wanna go to bed?
Yeah.
I'm sorry. Oh, am I sorry.
- Katie!
- I should've called first.
Oh, shit.
- Did I, like, screw anything up?
- No. I screwed it up.
Oh, I meant to call her.
Oh, boy, you are really something.
I'm Joey's mother.
Ever since he was so high,
he's had such a crush on you!
I've always been fond of Joe, too.
Of all the children, he was the least worry.
He worked in all those
cheap burlesque clubs.
Always around stark-naked girls!
But did it bother him? No.
He never paid any attention.
Never even looked at them.
Amatis, you love. Amant, they love.
Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant.
Hey, kid, what kind of language is that?
Oh, it's not a language. It's just some
jokes I'm working on. Some crazy jokes.
"Pu... Pu..."
Puella. Girl.
"First Year Latin"?
It's my kid brother's.
- How old are you?
- Nineteen.
Uh-huh. What year were you born?
Uh, 1930...
- Try 1934.
- Right. 1934.
1935?
1935, yeah.
Now try 1492.
See you around, kid.
Maybe we could have
a drink together sometime?
Oh, sure.
You notice we have small waitresses here.
You know why? Make the drinks look bigger.
That's my favorite one.
The one with the big tips.
I got problems, too.
I went to see my psychiatrist.
I told him I have suicidal tendencies.
He says "From now on, you pay in advance."
Look, I don't have to do this for a living.
I have four chinchillas at home in heat.
No, I make a lot of money.
I just have trouble passing it.
I just have trouble passing it. Is this on?
First-year Latin!
It's three o'clock in the morning.
Isn't it past your bedtime?
I don't look for big laughs. I'll settle
for intelligent nods. Anything. Wink.
You better stop lying, or your nose will grow!
Ooh! Something's growing!
The drummer's not really with the band,
but he has the car. Married 14 years.
14 years, no children! Strict mother-in-law.
Let's continue on. Right now, ladies
and gentlemen, here he is, Tops'n'Taps,
- may we present Mr Joe Gideon!
- You're on!
Joey's never done anything to disappoint me.
It's showtime, folks.
- You believe in love?
- I believe in saying "I love you."
Helps you concentrate.
Joe, they've asked me
to go on tour with the show.
How long?
Six months. What do you think?
- And you say it all the time.
- I say it a lot. A lot.
- When?
- When it works.
You know, I love you, Katie, but I think
you have to do what's best for you.
- Just what do you mean, Joe?
- Sometimes it doesn't work.
I mean, for your sake, I think you should go.
Hello, Michael? It's Katie.
So, um, did you mean it about dinner?
Wally's at 11?
You're surprised? I'm a little surprised.
Thank you. OK, Michael. Bye-bye.
I'm a little surprised too. Isn't that nice?
Now we're all a little surprised.
- Who was that?
- Michael Graham.
- Who is Michael Graham?
- The dancer in my ballet class.
Straight or gay?