death, man.
No pennies on the eyes for anybody.
Well, a couple of people, like my agent,
who booked me into this toilet...
Why is he mumbling like that?
I'll tell you why. Cos I'm the dummy
who let him mumble like that.
- Try it.
...death and the clap.
So far, I've managed to avoid one of them.
You know, man,
death is really a hip thing now.
But we all have
very different feelings about it.
For instance, to a Catholic,
death is a promotion.
Excuse me, Stacy.
Women?
Hope?
All this bullshit about "death with dignity".
You know what death with dignity is?
You don't drool.
Change-of-pace time. Request.
Here we go, Vic O'Dante. Hey!
Beauty?
- Oh, you're a flirt.
- Mm-hm.
Death is in, death is in
Hear them church bells ring
I love it, I love it, I love it!
Books, magazine articles, TVshows, Ken and
Barbie dolls who have a mutual suicide pact...
Oh, man, how many times
do we have to look at the same thing?
Until he gets it the way he wants it.
There's a lady in Chicago, man,
wrote a book - Dr Kьbler-Ross, with a dash.
This chick, man, without
the benefit of dying herself,
has broken the process
of death into five stages.
Anger, denial, bargaining, depression and
acceptance. Sounds like a Jewish law firm.
"Good morning. Anger, Denial,
Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance".
Anger.
Jesus Christ! Goddamn
son-of-a-bitch, pig-suckin'bastards!
Oh, pooh!
Bargaining. What did I say? Anger, denial,
bargaining, depression, acceptance.
All right, if you happen
to get to denial... denial...
"No, that's not me, man. No. Oh-ho...
Somebody else, maybe, but not me".
"Oh, no. You got the wrong...
How about my mother, man?"
"She's old, I'm weaned, I'm toilet-trained.
Bye, Ma. You've been terrific. I love ya".
- But not me!
- Mother?
Kinda chubby. And jolly.
And sexy.
Bargaining. Remember her?
"Can we sit down and talk
about this like businessmen?"
"A negotiation, OK? No more hard drugs.
A little grass, maybe, but that's it".
"OK, all right, look, man, I promise
I won't flash on subways any more, OK?"
Cat drives a hard bargain. Depression...
- Hi, Katie.
- "I'm dying!"
"Oh, God, am I dying?!"
Wanna have dinner together
before I go to the theatre?
- I can't.
- "The doctor's not dying".
- Should I come over to your apartment later?
- Yeah, sure.
- Father?
- Liar, womaniser. You woulda liked him.
Wait a minute. I don't know.
We may be working very late tonight.
- That's OK.
- Yeah. We'll talk later.
"At those prices, man,
who can afford to live?"
So... acceptance.
- "I accept!"
- Hold it.
- Hold it.
- Finished, or you wanna run it again?
No, I do not want to run it again,
thank you very much. We are finished.
- Anybody have any ideas?
- Oh, I like it, Joe. I think it's really funny.
Who asked you, Stacy?
It's too long... I don't know.
Maybe we can get away with it.
Do you suppose
Stanley Kubrick gets depressed?
- Do you wanna work tonight, Joe?
- No, I gotta work on the show.
You have really got something... special.
All right...
All right!
I want so to be a movie star.
Oh?
Ever since I was a little kid,
I wanted to see my face
on the screen... 40 feet wide.
Oh, yeah?
"I have always depended
on the kindness of strangers".
You're looking at my nose,
aren't you? It's crooked.
It goes to the left. See?
I mean, like, I could always
have that fixed. Like that.
Do you think I could be?
You know. A movie star.
In the movies.
Well, that's...
I don't know anybody
that could answer that question.
It's... it's a very freaky business, you know?
Yeah, I know all about that,
but, like, I wanna know what you think.
Do you think I could be a movie star?
No.
Even