the rest of the stuff, okay?
Oh, Martelli. Bruno Martelli.
Would you like to set up
your equipment, Mr. Martelli?
Who taught you?
Who taught me? My father taught me.
He's in Spain. He makes Westerns.
- Why do you want to go to school here?
- Because Freddie went here.
- Freddie?
- Freddie Prinze. He's the best.
- So you want to be an actor, huh?
- Yeah, sure, I want to be an actor.
Judy, Judy, Judy.
Top of the world, Ma.
We don't want you to perform. We want
to see who you are. You understand?
- Right.
- Use your own experience.
Be simple, be honest,
but most of all, be yourself.
- Be honest. Be simple. Be yourself?
- Be yourself.
I'm God, see? And God
is Puerto Rican, you got that? Now.
God works in a casa de steam,
you know. It's a steam bath, right?
And he's talking to this angel. This angel
is a computer. An electronic computer.
I'm God, see? That's why I'm standing
on this chair, you got that? Good.
Does he wanna be a musician
or an airline pilot?
Mr. Martelli. We are ready when you are.
Would you care to begin?
Oh, okay. Sure.
Mr. Martelli.
Mr. Martelli.
Mr. Martelli!
Thank you. One instrument
at a time will be quite sufficient.
I could do it in 4/4
if you prefer a disco beat.
She's a disaster.
Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name.
Or, if thou wilt not,
be but sworn my love...
...and then I'll no longer be a Capu- -
Capu- - Capu- something.
- Capulet.
- Like Cappelletti, the football player?
- Something like that.
- That's what I mean.
- Where's his application?
- He doesn't have one.
Well, get him one.
- What do you call that?
- Wicked.
Thou art thyself.
Thou art not a Montagoo- -
Montagazz- - Who knows?
This is the last day of auditions. We've
seen a lot of students. We're punchy.
We're gonna take a break. Go next door
to Mrs. Shime. Have her audition you.
- Right next door.
- I tell her that you sent me?
- Yeah.
- All right.
By the way...
- ... you were reading the girl's part.
- Shit.
- You're not into high school, remember?
- I'm into dancing.
You're into ass, you mean. You don't
have to go to high school for that.
- I was doing you a favor, remember?
- Some fat fucking favor.
Take your things to the third floor.
Give your forms to the senior there.
Okay, you go downstairs, change
in the girls' room and wait for him.
I'm through?
I don't have to dance anymore?
Where you going, Leroy?
He's in and I'm out, right?
Fuck you, Leroy! This was my audition,
remember? You're not into high school.
We were rehearsing to get me into this
school, not you, you fucker! It's not fair!
I didn't want to come here anyway.
This school sucks.
You've done me a favor, shithead.
You saved me four fucking years
from this ass- licking school!
You looking at one happy lady!
Who wants to go to a fucking school
to learn to dance, anyway?
Yeah, hello?
No, it isn't. This is Naomi Finsecker
speaking. Her mother. Who is this?
Replacement?
What do you mean, replacement?
So is she in or is she out?
I got in! I got in!
I got into Performing Arts!
Doris, we're in!
Get her out of there!
- Hey, later on.
- All right. All right!
See y'all later.
- Hello.
- Hey, mama, get in the car!
Come on, baby, come on.
Don't go to school.
- Martelli, Bruno.
- Bruno. Come on.
Garcia, Raul.
- Garcia, Raul?
- It's Ralph.
- It says Raul.
- I don't relate to that.
- Garcia, Ralph.
- It's Garci.
Ralph Garci. I think they
spelled it wrong on the application.
- Garci, Ralph.
- Here.
- MacNeil, Montgomery.
- Here.
- Monroe, Lisa.
- Yes?
Johnson, Leroy.
Johnson, Leroy?
In future, Mr. Johnson, I'd like you to
leave your ghetto blaster at home.
I'd have left it home
if it wasn't so goddamn boring in here.
This is a classroom, Mr. Johnson. You're
going to be here for four years...
...with your eyes open,
homework done, pencils sharpened...
...and all food, cigarettes and radios
outside. Do you understand me?