the creative product.
Like Godard.
- Jean-Luc Godard? Ever hear of that guy?
- French?
Ah, oui. Like me.
- You ever see any of his pictures?
- Sure.
- Then you know what I'm talking about.
- Yeah.
You see, I belong, sort of, to the
auteur school of filmmaking.
It's like the-
It's like the Mediterranean
approach, you know what I mean?
- Do you want a beer?
- No, thanks. I'm okay.
- It might relax you.
- It's all right. I have a lot on my mind.
I understand.
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
- What?
- Come here.
- Oh.
- That's it. I want you to sit right here.
We're gonna do a lovely close-up
of that beautiful face.
I get nervous at first with cold readings,
but then I'm all right.
Don't worry about that.
We'll get to the dialogue later.
- So, you like art movies, huh, Coco?
- Antonioni and those people? Sure.
It beats watching Laverne & Shirley.
Coco, you don't know
what you're doing to my lens.
You have a natural rapport
with the camera.
It's unbelievable. Some performers
can make love to the camera.
Garbo did.
Monroe did.
So could you.
- Yeah?
- Oh, yeah.
Could you take your top off, please?
- What?
- Could you take your blouse off?
- Are you kidding?
- No, I'm not kidding.
What's the matter?
You're acting like some dumb kid.
- I thought you were a professional.
- I am.
Well, then what's the problem?
[SOBBING]
I can't.
That's better.
That's lovely.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Could you arch your back?
Arch your back a little, Coco.
It's tres jolie, Coco, it's tres jolie.
Smile for me, Coco.
Come on, Coco. Smile, smile.
Smile for me.
Now take your thumb...
...and put it in your mouth...
...like a little schoolgirl.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS ON TV]
MAN OVER TV: You ever notice
black news reporters...
...get hired because
they have white accents?
They should hire a more natural guy,
a dude from the street.
"This is Rufus X with the news..."
RALPH:
I need something.
Sleep.
- Something to keep me flying.
- Like what?
Like by way of your witch doctor.
I don't see Dr. Golden anymore.
You know that.
Anyway, you've been taking too much.
- Thanks, Marcus Welby.
- I know what I'm talking about.
Why don't you get off my fucking case?
- I'm your friend.
- You're my friend? Really?
I know what you've been
after, you goddamn faggot.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
Good. You do that.
Hi. You got a problem?
Yeah, I do.
- We never see you anymore.
- You see me plenty.
Drinking with your new friends
after the show.
After the show is when
all the big names come in.
You meet people. That's what counts.
I hate drinking. I'm doing this
for my future. For our future.
You're doing this for some image,
for Freddie because he did it.
- Yeah? Maybe.
- Yeah? Well, he died doing it.
- He could have been a real actor.
- He was!
He was funny and charming
and he made people laugh. That's it.
- That's plenty!
- That's not enough! Not for you!
- Jesus Christ!
- You are good, Ralph.
- You're seriously really good.
- Jesus.
You're full of rage and pain and love.
Not just jokes. You're an original.
The original Ralph Garci.
- You don't have to be somebody else.
- You're bringing me down!
Don't be somebody else.
- You're bringing me fucking down!
- I'm sorry!
I gotta go make people laugh, and
you're talking about rage and pain.
- I said I'm sorry!
- It takes fucking wings.
Miss Seriously, let me tear flypaper, huh?
Give me a fucking break, honey!
Give me a fucking break.
Okay, pal? Thank you.
- What's happening to you?
- What's happening to me? Success.
Now, you either hang on or hang up.
All right?
[CLAPPING]
It's a great pleasure to introduce
a young man who's funny and loud.
Especially during my act.
Please welcome the comedy stylings
of Ralph Garci, ladies and gentlemen.
That's right. My name is Ralph Garci,
and I'm a professional asshole.
That's right. I see we have a couple
of amateurs in the audience tonight.
Don't we?
I see. How about sign