their luster when you see
how it affects real folks.
A healthy bottom line
doesn't mean much if...
...to get it, you have to hurt
the ones you depend on.
It's people that make the difference.
Little people, like you.
So, Carl...
...whatever you got last year...
...add 20 percent.
Go away, Todd.
If you want to come in, you are gonna
have to break down the goddamn door!
Merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night!
Freeze!
Not you! Them!
This way, please.
I think you've made a terrible mistake.
I told you to freeze, mister.
May we blink?
- Thank God you're all right.
- I'm fine. I'm just fine.
There was a big
misunderstanding tonight.
Excuse me. Would you and Mrs. Shirley
like to step outside so we can finish here?
- Don't bother. I'm not pressing charges.
- What?
It was a mistake.
Mistake? Honey, you were kidnapped.
I did something I shouldn't have...
...and these people called me on it.
This is Clark Griswold and his family.
Welcome to our home.
What's left of it.
Release B Squad.
What's going on here?
Remember how I was toying with the
notion of suspending Christmas bonuses?
You didn't.
Of all the cheap,
lousy ways to save a buck!
That's pretty low, mister.
If I had a rubber hose...
I changed my mind.
I'm reinstating all the bonuses.
Look!
Look!
It's Santy Claus.
Uncle Clark, it's Santy Claus.
It's the Christmas star.
And that's all that matters tonight.
Not bonuses or gifts or turkeys or trees.
See, kids...
It means something different
to everybody.
Now I know what it means to me.
That ain't the frigging Christmas star.
It's the light
on the sewage treatment plant.
Sewer gas.
Don't drop that!
"And the rocket's red glare
"The bombs bursting in air
"Gave proof through the night
"That our flag was still there
"Oh, say does that
"Star-spangled banner yet wave
"O'er the land of the free
"And the home of the brave?"
Play ball!
Merry Christmas, Sparky.
Merry Christmas, honey.
I did it.That was beautiful...
Take it, Russ.
Dad, can you explain again
what we're doing?
Sure, Russ. We're kicking off our fun,
old-fashioned family Christmas...
...by heading out into the country
in the old front-wheel drive sleigh...
...to embrace the frosty majesty
of the winter landscape...
...and select that most important
of Christmas symbols.
We're not driving all the way out here
so you can get one of those stupid ties...
.. with the Santa Clauses on it, are we?
- No, I have one of those at home.
What we're looking for today
is the Griswold family Christmas tree.
- What's the matter?
- Some jackass is riding my tail.
Slow down and let him pass.
Clark! Don't provoke them.
Hey, kids, look a deer.
Clark, slow down!
You wanna ride behind somebody
who does that?
I'll pull around them
and leave them behind us.
Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber.
Dad, I think what you mean is,
"Burn rubber," and, "Eat my dust. "
Whatever, Russ. Whatever.
Eat my road grit, liver lips!
Okay. That's enough of that.
Speaking of Christmas trees, kids,
can one of you tell me...
.. what the first tree displayed
at the White House was?
Dad, they're back.
Clark, stop it!
I don't want to spend the holidays dead.
Honey, please! I'll do the driving, okay?
Will you just take it easy, Ellen?
I'm in complete control.
I'll get around this egg timer.
Dad. Dad.
- Thank God, we're all right!
- Clark, we're stuck under a truck!
- Do you honestly think I don't know that?
- Come on, you guys, don't fight.
For chrissake,
I didn't do this on purpose!
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
And forgive my husband.
He knows not what he does.
Amen!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Made pretty good time.
Dad, didn't they invent Christmas tree
lots so people wouldn't have to drive...
.. all the way out to nowhere
and waste a whole Saturday?
They made them because people forgot
how to have an old-fashioned Christmas...
.. and are satisfied with