Adiуs, buckaroos.
Giddy-up, Thunder Thighs!
Adiуs, buckaroos. Don't try
and follow me to Abilene.
Good night, sweetheart.
Good night, Mom.
Did you have
a nice birthday?
Dad was funny.
He sure was.
Well, good night,
nine-year-old boy.
Happy birthday, kiddo.
Dad?
Yeah?
When I grow up,
can I work where you work?
Why?
That way we can still
see each other every day.
Good night.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Mom?
Hubba-hubba.
Garry?
Garry?
Let me out of here,
mango face!
Hello, Helen?
Oh, the door was unlocked.
Oh, my God!
What channel is this?
No, Gran, this is a tape.
She needs a man.
Now.
Gran, this isn't mine.
I don't watch this.
What's everybody
doing in here?
Did you break
my lock?
Susie, Gran, would you
please go to my room?
Sure.
One of those men reminded me
of your grandpa. God bless him.
Garry, listen to me.
How could you break my lock?
I came in here because I
was afraid you were on drugs.
Why would you think that?
Because of what you did
to your father's office.
What do you mean?
He found your hammer.
You know, those were your
initials burned into the handle.
Someone must have taken it.
Oh, Garry, just...
Honey, you know,
all these feelings...
You're right to have
all these feelings.
You're a great kid.
You're a great kid, honey.
You just got a lousy dad.
And you've just got to learn
to say, "The hell with him!"
Actually, that's good
advice for both of us.
The hell with him!
I don't know what to say
about the tapes.
You know, I assume that, you know,
you're watching these because
you're curious about sex,
you know,
or filmmaking.
Is there anything
you'd like to ask?
Who?
Me.
No, I don't blame you.
What about Uncle Gil?
He's busy
with his own kids.
Hi.
Hi.
Where's my wife?
She's still at school.
She's got cheerleading
practice. Bitchin'.
So what's up?
Would you like
to speak to Tod?
Can I speak frankly,
no holds barred?
Please.
That is one messed-up
little dude.
You sure
we can talk straight?
All right.
A few months ago,
Garry got his first boner.
You know what that is?
If memory serves.
Great! Anyway,
since then he's been
uh,
slapping the salami.
No offense.
No.
Apparently, he's going
for a world record.
Chicken's burning.
Oh!
Oh.
Damn! That looked
good, too.
Anyway,
he was afraid there was something
wrong with him, you know?
Like he was a pervert
or something.
I told him that's what little
dudes do. We've all done it.
That made him happy.
Garry was happy?
Yeah,
he even smiled.
I never even knew
he had teeth.
I guess a boy Garry's age
really needs a man around.
Yeah, well,
it depends on the man.
I had a man around.
He used to wake me up in the morning
by flicking lit cigarettes at my head.
"Hey, asshole, get up
and make me breakfast. "
You know, Miss Buckman, you need a
license to buy a dog or drive a car.
Hell, you need a license
to catch a fish,
but they'll let any
butt-reaming asshole be a father.
Well, I'm gonna
pick up Julie.
They're hassling her
about her hair.
She does look
kind of stupid.
I don't know what
we were thinking about.
Tod?
Thanks.
Kevin wants to go.
How did you go through
those quarters so fast?
Another kid took Kevin's money. Shut up!
What kid? Never mind.
Never mind. Can we just go?
It was that kid.
Never mind!
That kid? That kid's not bigger
than you. Go back and get your money!
Dad, let me
handle it, okay?
Kevin, do you want me to
help you get your money back?
No, can we just go?
I wanna go!
Okay.
"Okay"?
Now, that's a little kid.
Justin can beat up that kid!
Shut up, Dad.
Will you just shut up?
Oh, no!
What's the matter?
I lost my retainer!
Where?
Shh. Honey.
It's okay.
I put my retainer
on the table.
Just relax. Kevin, it's okay, honey.
It's his retainer.
He lost his retainer.
It's all right, sweetheart.
Come on, sweetie. We'll find it.
Oh, God!
Here, let me.
Where are the kids?
Your folks are