nostrils
for talking to your betters that way.
All right.
I'm a technician, you're an interloper.
You are constitutionally incapable
of not shutting the fuck up.
-Bring it!
-Shut the fuck up!
No, no, proctology boy,
I'm coming after you.
Shut it. Hey. Hey.
I have the perfect tool for this job.
-I was only kidding him.
-Fuck.
Fuck!
What if he goes in there
and he gets his gun and his silencer?
I'm leaving.
This place has become unsafe.
No, hey, hey, Freck. No, come on.
You're a bro, man. Stick around.
What's the hammer for, Barris?
No, I just saw it inside and thought I,
you know, should bring it along with me.
-Same with this.
-You ready?
Yeah, what do you want?
-Come on, hammerhead.
-Shut up.
-Make a move.
-Don't like it.
Okay. lf you guys are gonna
kill each other, I'm splitting.
-It's getting very fucked up over here.
-Hey, Freck.
The most dangerous kind of person is
the one who's afraid of his own shadow.
-What is that supposed to mean?
-I'll tell you.
It means that if you take
too much of that stuff...
...you not only start seeing
bugs all over...
...but you start talking like...and
no one can understand you.
What'd you say, Barris?
I didn't understand.
See, you guys are fucked up.
No, no, it is y-uck-uck-ou
that are fuck-ucked-ed up.
Hey, go Freck yourself.
Don't take the car, you'll kill yourself.
So this guy's been going around claiming
to be a world-famous impostor, right?
Says he's posed, at one time or another,
as a surgeon at John Hopkins...
...as a theoretical,
submolecular, high-velocity...
...particle-research physicist
on a federal grant at Harvard...
...as a Finnish novelist
who won the Nobel Prize for literature...
...as a deposed Argentinean president...
...who was married to a go-go dancer
from Chicago--
He got away with all that?
-He never got caught?
-Okay, you broke my flow...
...so now I guess I'll just have
to segue down to the near.
That's just it.
You see, he didn't pose as any of those.
He just posed as
a world-famous impostor. Yeah.
It came out later in the L.A. Times.
They checked up, and he was pushing
a broom at Disneyland or something.
He saw that old DiCaprio movie.
You know, the one where
he plays a world-famous impostor...
...before Leonardo hit his Elvis stage.
And his first thought was:
“Hey, I could pose as all those
exotic guys and get away with it. “
But then, his next thought was,
“Hell, why bother?
I could just pose as an impostor,
and it'd be a lot easier. “
They say that he made more money
than the actual impostor...
...although I'm not sure
if they'd adjust for inflation.
Well, you know,
we all see impostors now and then...
...but not posing
as subatomic physicists.
Oh, as a narc, you mean.
What's a narc look like?
That's like asking,
“What's an impostor look like?”
I talked to this dealer
who 'd been busted.
I asked him what the narc
who busted him looked like.
What did he say, he looked just like us?
More so.
So I guess the moral of that is...
...stay away from guys
looking the same as us.
Well, there are female narcs.
Oh, hey, I'd like to meet one of those.
No, I don 't mean a female. I mean
just the narc, knowingly, like, positive.
Sure. So you could positively know.
And you will.
When he slaps the cuffs on, you'll know
for sure, when that day comes.
How could a guy do that?
Pose as a narc?
-What?
-What?
Pose as a narc?
-No, you said it. So yeah.
-Pose as a narc.
Oh, sh-- Shit, I'm spaced.
Pose as a narc, wow.
Pose as a narc.
My brains are scrambled today.
Christ, Barris, what the fuck?
Yes, hi. How are you?
I have something
somewhat emergent to report.
I

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