the newest rage in waste -
medical refuse.
Infected bandages, body parts,
IV tubing, syringes,
fluid, blood, radioactive waste -
all contained,
sunken in the lake
and sealed for centuries.
I ask you, what do you see?
I just see...
see trees.
No one ever accused you
of having a grand vision.
While the ambitious scramble
for wealth and power,
the Chets of the world can lay back
and casually stroll along life's path.
- That's a compliment.
- Oh, thanks.
The rest of us will probably die
of strokes long before you!
I hope so. Wouldn't that be great?
To see a bunch of people drop
that you hate. That'd be something else.
My goodness! My goodness me.
I'm going to walk down life's path
right now.
Get the barbecue going, hot dogs...
Wait a minute. No way.
Wait a hot shit minute.
Rule one - no relative of mine
is eating hot dogs
as long as he's sharing my cabin. Katie!
Do you sense the presence
of an alien life form?
Now you mention it, I do sense
something kind of strange.
Oh, sh...
(# Theme from The Twilight Zone)
Did I tell you
about the futures market?
- Probably.
- We got a Deutschmarks contract,
sat on it a week, sold it,
took in a 300% profit.
Well, easy money
is money easily lost.
I can't believe how old-fashioned
your thinking is.
- 300% profit, huh?
- Sometimes 200% or 100%.
Take the good with the bad.
Yeah. Still, that's pretty good.
Point of the matter is,
you should have your piece too.
Whoa! Hot!
- How are those tails?
- They're 28 bucks a pop.
28? Oh, my God. Chet and I haven't
had lobster since our anniversary.
- Oh, my God. A jumping lobster!
- Save that one.
- That'll be for me.
- I'll make sure of that.
The gourmet here wanted hot dogs.
You know what they're made of?
Lips and assholes.
(Sarcastic laughter)
I'm old-fashioned. I like assholes.
Ha! And I like lips!
If I could market lips like those,
I'd make another million!
(Laughter)
(Roman) Lobster turned out all right,
if I do say so myself.
We should go into town
and pick up a ski boat.
What do you say? Sound good, guys?
Uncle Roman will blow some coin
on a kick-ass drag boat.
We're renting a pontoon boat.
Pontoon boat. What are you going to do
with a pontoon boat?
Retake Omaha Beach?
Not at all. A pontoon boat,
you go out and cruise the lake.
You swim from them, fish from them,
even bring the barbecue out.
You have a great time.
You tour the lake in comfort.
You guys want to cruise in comfort
or would you rather skim the waves
in a jet boat?
Jet boat!
- Sorry, Dad.
- (Roman) Attaboy, Benny!
All right, that's my man.
Care to put it to a vote?
We don't need a vote.
You want a jet boat, get a jet boat.
- Buck and I are getting a pontoon boat.
- Sorry, Dad.
Directly from the mouths of babes!
Are you going to argue
or enjoy yourselves?
I'm enjoying, Chet's arguing!
How about if the kids catch fireflies?
We can play cards.
Cara, Mara. You little dolls want
to go outside and catch fireflies?
Honey, they don't like bugs.
What? All kids like bugs. They're cute.
Especially fireflies.
Their butts light up.
(Screams echo)
I am a killer Monopoly player.
Roman taught me. He's vicious.
- (Roman) Buddy Riecher died.
- Oh, no.
President of Energy Resources.
- Honey.
- Died in bed.
- He was your mentor, wasn't he?
- A man I admired.
- I'm trying to read here!
- Sorry. Sorry.
I think I have to, er, tell you this story.
A story that might save your lives
up here in the woods.
I know the Heimlich maneuver.
No. This is a...
a bear story.
A true bear story.
Connie and I honeymooned
at this very lake.
Big spender!
- We stayed at my uncle's cabin.
- Uncle George?
Yeah. That's right.
One night
we were getting ready for bed
and we heard this terrible noise
out by the trash cans.
You remember? And, er...
I went downstairs to check it out,
looked out the window...
and there...
was the biggest,
baddest bear in the north woods.
- Sure, Dad.
- No, it'