weekends,
and all you need to do
is give me a replacement
outfit as an advance.
- Listen, honey.
- What?
I'll repeat your alternatives
one last time.
You can keep your outfit
and dye the rest of it cranberry.
- Or you can purchase a new one.
- [Sighs]
Would you please help me?
I will do anything.
- [Sobs]
- Tsk. It's not that bad.
- What are you talking about?
Are you high?
- I want to rent you.
You want to rent me?
Yeah. You pretend you like me,
and we go out for just a few weeks...
and that will make me popular.
Just going out with me
is not gonna make you popular.
Well, I have $1,000
that says it will.
I think you've mowed
one too many lawns.
You're right.
Tsk.
I believe we have decided
against purchasing the outfit.
Donald!
Oh! You made it!
- I was afraid you
weren't gonna meet me.
- Mellow out, Donald.
I said 8:05. I'm here, right?
Relax, anyway. It's only school.
Yeah, well, this is not
my average opening day.
I'm about to walk
the cool hallway.
- I usually go the long route
through the library.
- Would you ease up?
I mean, I'm the one
who's gonna have to hold
a press conference...
when we're seen
together, right?
- Right.
- Okay, now let's get this deal
straight one more time.
Um, we only pretend to hang, right?
Uh, no hand holding, no kissing!
And I get my lunch hour off.
That's not our deal.
I need more return on my investment.
Well, there's no way
I'm holding your hand in public.
- I mowed 286 miles for you.
- Okay, one lunch.
There are five days
in a school week.
- All right, Donald, two lunches.
- Three lunches.
- And the pep rally on Friday.
- Four lunches. That's it!
Okay, deal. Now, just remember,
this is our sworn secret
for life or longer.
- You promise.
- Yeah, yeah. I promise.
Anyway, how bad could it be, right?
It's only for one week.
No, no, it's one month. One month.
Yeah, I know. Okay, one month.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Now if I'm gonna do this
for one day, we have to do
something about your style.
I mean, it's like nonexistent.
Okay? Take off that hat.
[Can Hissing]
And... rub that in.
[Sighs]
Okay, um, take off those glasses.
Here you go.
Let me take a look at you.
[Grunts]
[Sighs]
Nope. Turn around.
[Whispers]
Oh, sh...
Okay, here you go. Your sleeve.
- [Chuckles]
- Don't worry about it. You look fine.
Turn around and back up.
- Yes, yes, big improvement.
- Yes.
Okay, Donald, we're ready.
- Oh, Cindy, one last thing.
- Yeah?
My name is Ronald, not Donald.
- Let's do it.
- That's right. Let's do it.
Should I put my collar up?
- Hey, dude!
- Hey, man.
[Girls Laughing]
[Girl]
Really?
[Boy]
What's happenin', homes?
[John]
If we win a basketball trophy,
put it down there.
- We want ours to be all alone.
- Man, look at...
- Who's the dick with ears?
- Oh, yeah, man. It's
that wimp ass Miller guy.
- I don't get it.
- It must be for charity.
- I think that's Ronald Miller.
- No way!
It must be a... transfer.
Wrong, and I think I'm puking.
Hi, pats, Barb.
- Um, you all know Ronnie.
- Yeah, I think.
Didn't you, like,
used to mow our lawn?
Yes, and you have the nicest pair
of rhododendrons in town.
Rhoda who?
- Dendrons.
- I'll see you guys in Home Ec.
Okay?
- What did he say?
- I don't care.
Dig on his shirt.
Well, class, any interesting
experiments this summer?
Uh, yeah, well, uh,
I grew spores and fungi...
in my parents' refrigerator
this summer.
Now he's homeless.
- How come you didn't
meet me in the library?
- Sorry. I forgot.
First day and all.
- What's with the weird outfit?
- Um, it's a designer original.
- Yeah, how's the new telescope?
- Well, I didn't exactly buy it yet.
A thousand dollars is a great deal
to part with, and I don't...
Mr. Miller,you seem
quite talkative this morning.
Why don't you recite the bones of
the upper appendicular skeleton?
- Ooh!
- [Laughing]
- All 64.
- [Sighs]
- [Sizzling]
- [Chattering]
- [Gulps, Burps]
- Oh, God,