Knocking ]
OwI Head crampI
Don't kill me.
- Hey.
- Donkey balls.
You made it, man.
Your mom said clean up this shit-hole
or no grilled cheese for a week?
That's emotional blackmail,
and you know it!
- [ Woman ] Screw youI
- I will sue you! Renter's rights!
- You don't pay rentI
- Damn. Damn!
- What the hell is he doing here, man?
- It was Hutch's idea.
Grab a controller.
We're ganging up on Windows in Mario Kart.
I can't.
I came to talk to Linus actually.
Can I talk to you alone, man?
Linus. Hey, stop walking.
Linus! Hold up, man.
- Stop. What the hell, man?
I did nothing to you.
- Exactly. You did nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Eric Bottler graduates high school
and never looks back.
You bailed on our plan, Bottler!
What plan?
To be the next big thing in comics?
Come on, man.
That was never gonna happen.
I did what I had to do, dude. I grew up.
I'm the only one who did.
- Look at you guys.
- You can fool everybody...
with this cheap suit,
salesman-of-the-year pitch.
But I know you better than anybody...
and deep down,
you are one miserable son of a bitch.
- Miserable, huh?
- Yeah. Miserable.
Miserable is wasting your life
in Hutch's garage playing video games...
arguing whether or not
Luke really had a thing for Leia.
You know as well as anybody...
that as soon as Luke knew Leia
was his sister, it was hands off.
They still kiss.
That was Leia kissing Luke
to make Han jealous.
That was the second time.
The first time-
The first time they're about to die!
- They were not, you liar.
- They were swinging 30,000 feet in the air.
You know when you're a sibling, okay?
There's something innate.
- There's no telepathy between
Luke and Leia till Episode VI.
- It spans the ocean.
It was romance in a sci-fi opera!
Who cares about this shit, man? Huh?
- Who cares about-
- I do. I care.
[ Chuckles ]
- [ Engine Squeaks, Starts ]
- You need a new car.
They were siblings.
They were siblings, you sick bastard!
[ Car Rattling ]
You are trapped now.
You've made your last mistake.
[ Soft Growl ]
We need to talk.
Sure, Pop.
What's up?
Okay. Here's the deal.
It's time for the world
to see the new face of this company.
And his name's Big Eric.
Big Eric who?
- Big Eric you.
- [ Chuckles ]
It's all yours, kiddo.
The entire shebang.
All 1 5 locations, from here to Seattle.
- [ Teeth Click ]
- I mean- Uh, yes.
Yeah. I mean, wow.
- Take the hat.
- I can't take your hat.
[ Sniffs ]
Go ahead.
No, really.
It looks good on you.
- Take the hat.
- But it's really-
- Take the damn hat.
- Yeah. I'll wear it for-
My God. Your mom would be so proud
to see you in that hat.
I know, Pop.
Hey. You and me?
Tanning Tuesdays?
You want to take your shirt off.
[ Sighs ]
You want to take your shirt off. God.
- You wanna take that shirt off?
- Asshole.
You have been trying thatJedi mind shit
on me since the eighth grade.
- It doesn't work.
- Oh, it works. Tell her, Windows.
- He's been geeking out
with Rogue Leader all morning.
- [ Giggling ]
Nothing can tear him away.
- Ah!
- Rogue Leader,you are wicked.
Ah, I love the feeling of fresh air
on my naked breasts.
Oh, ho-ho!
See that?
Man's immune to sweater yams.
What about me?
I like sweater yams!
Hey.
[ Sighs ]
What'll it be, fellas?
- How much for the phaser gun?
- For the phaser gun?
Sorry, Garfunkel.
We don't hock Trek here.
Well, then, Slim,
if you don't sell the Trek...
then why do you have
a phaser gun in the case?
We keep this one here to suss out
Trekkie bitches like yourself...
and tell them to get
the hell off of our land.
So get the hell off of our land.
Get the hell off of our land!
Get the hell out of here! Now!
Get out ofhere,
you Kirk-lovin'Spock-suckersI
[ Squeaky Voice ]
[ Exhales ]
- Hey.
- Hey.
You guys know where a guy can pawn off
a first edition Eric Bottler comic?
- Hey!
- Holy cannolis.
Look at that.
Yeah. That's awesome.
Dude, you had sick