difficult specimen
to read sometimes.
If you know what I mean.
But l-
You just can't act like that
if you wanna be one of the guys.
Maybe... she doesn't
wanna be one of the guys.
She likes you.
But I didn't-
But she kind of just-
- Jesus Murphy!
- [Laughs]
Wow. Okay.
What-What should I do?
Well, /f there's one th/ng
I learned be/ng an escort.
It's that actions speak louder than words.
Did you just say "escort"?
Fantastic.
- [Wh/rr/ng]
- Shh!
- I don't think we're alone.
- Yeah.
[Man]
You're latel
It's all there-
maps, pass codes...
phony I.D.'s to get you past the front gates,
but that's not what's most important.
What's most important?
- We never met.
- [Gasps]
- That's Capt-
- Yeah. I think-
I should- Hi.
I can't believe that these are classified.
And there's-
Look at the maps. I mean, there's badges.
And there's Trekk/n'w/th TJ.
What is this for?
Just someth/ng for the r/de.
- Thank you.
- This is unreal. How did you score all this stuff?
Are you kidding?
I'm William Shatner. I can score anything.
- Okay.
- How 'bout- How 'boutJeri Ryan's panties?
- Oh.
- Anything.
- I'm so glad that we met.
- Me too.
This is-Whoa. Hey.
[Laughs] Wait, wait.
Okay, let me go.
[Laughs]
- Hutch, private convo. Jesus.
- What the hell are you-
What are you do/ng, man?
Get the hell out ofhere.
It's not a good time.
The Force is strong with me here.
- Actually, your hour's over.
- What do you mean, "over"?
- Hutch, they're hookers.
- We're not hookers. We're escorts.
- The difference being?
- I don't know.
Excuse me. Sorry.
You telling me...
that I just spent the last hour sweet talk/ng
a smok/ng, hot whore?
- You could always pay for another hour.
- How much?
- One thousand.
- Dollars?
- Mm-hmm.
- Each! I want a refund.
- Give me a refund.
- Is that possible?
[Hutch] You know what? We're male
prost/tutes and you owe us a thousand dollarsl
- You can talk it over with Roach.
- [Both] Roach?
[Knock/ng]
- Hi, Daddy.
- Greetings and salutations. It is payday.
- Ten-thousand shares of Priceline?
- Anything.
- Wow.
- Next time you see Harry
Knowles, tell him we're square.
Friends of yours?
Cry havoc!
[All Shouting]
Z/nfandel.
That's a good v/ntage.
Uh, th/s has all been
a really b/g m/sunderstand/ng.
You see, my friend and I, we didn't know
that we were on the clock, per se.
You thought you were
getting that for free, did ya?
- Uh, Mr. Roach?
- Yeah?
Would you mind not eating
those peanuts 'cause-
Buddy, these are like
$10 a peanut, you know.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Well, why don't you take it
out of the $2,000...
that you and your skinny
little idiot friend owe me, how's that sound?
- Rebel Alliance, dude.
- What? Enunciate.
- Rebel Alliance.
- Rebel All/ance.
We recognize the tat.
We're Star Wars fans.
- You're Star Wars fans?
- Yeah.
Shit. Why didn't you say so, man?
You think that's cool,
check this shit out. Look.
Ent/re r/ght s/de, Rebel All/ance.
[Lmitating Yoda]
"Do or do not." That's funny.
¶ And this arm
is the Dark Side ¶
¶ Don't join the Dark Side
of the Force ¶¶
Check this out.
Ep/sode I.
Fu-Schnickens.
Jar-Jar Binks.
That guy's gonna be the shit.
I tell you.
- Wow.
- Right? You like that?
- I had them do that pose.
I thought it was funny.
- That is awesome.
- You guys are all right.
- So, we're all hunky-dory?
- We're all copacetic?
- Well, if the word "copacetic" means...
I'm gonna rip off your tongue
and lick your ass with it, then yeah...
- we're copacet/c.
- Oh.
[Women Gasp]
- Windows, now!
- It was lovely to meet you.
Thank you so much for listening.
- Go, go, go!
- Balloons?
You thought that was gonna stop 'em?
[Elevator Bell Dings]
- Grab the princess.
- Come on, Zoe!
- Get off