200 years from now,
you'll be long gone.
But I won't have aged at all.
So you tell your great-great-
granddaughter to look me up.
Because, Adrian...
...baby...
...I'm gonna want to meet her.
Here I come.
I'm coming to fix the copier.
I can't get to the copier.
I'm thinking, "What do I do?"
So I just watch them have sex.
And then I say... Wait, here's my line:
You know, that's bad
for the paper tray.
- Nice work, my friend.
- Wait, you see me again.
Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me.
There I am. There I am. There I am.
There are so many things,
it's hard to pick just one.
I'm getting coffee. Want anything?
- A blueberry muffin and chamomile tea.
- Double latte.
- A bagel with only...
- I was just being polite.
How about when you're not working?
What do you do in your spare time?
Look at this clown. He thinks
he can take up the whole river.
Get out of the way, jackass!
Who names their boat
Coast Guard, anyway?
That is the Coast Guard.
What are they doing out here?
The coast is way over there!
This is unbelievable.
Joey has been holding his breath
for almost four minutes.
Dude, are you trying to kill me?
Well, I see you've had
a very productive day.
- Isn't the cowboy hat a little much?
- Come on, it's fun!
All right.
Isn't this a woman's hat?
Dude, stop talking crazy
and make us some tea.
We have to turn off the porn.
I think you're right.
- All right, ready?
- One.
- Two, three.
- Three.
That's kind of nice.
- It's kind of a relief.
- Yeah.
- You wanna see if we still have it?
- Yeah.
Free porn! We have free porn here!
In my spare time, I read to the blind.
And I'm also a mento for kids.
- A mento?
- You know, a mento. A role model.
- A mento?
- Right.
- Like the candy?
- As a matter of fact, I do.
Our readers always want to know how
soap stars stay in such great shape.
Do you have a fitness regime?
We stars usually just try to eat right
and get lots of exercise.
You know we've thrown this
without dropping it for an hour?
Are you serious?
I realized it a half-hour ago,
but I didn't want to jinx it.
- Wow, we are pretty good at this.
- Yeah.
Hey, we totally forgot about lunch.
That's the first time
I've ever missed a meal.
My pants are a little loose.
What's wrong with you?
I got this blinding pain in my stomach
when I was lifting weights.
And then I passed out.
I haven't been able to stand up since.
But I don't think it's serious.
Sounds like a hernia.
Go to the doctor.
No way!
If I go to the doctor, it's for this
thing sticking out of my stomach!
Why'd I have to start
working out again?
Damn you, fifteens!
- What is it?
- A trifle. It has layers.
A layer of ladyfingers,
then a layer of jam.
Then custard,
which I made from scratch.
Raspberries, more ladyfingers,
beef sautйed with peas and onions.
Then a little bit more custard.
It tastes like feet.
I like it.
- Are you kidding?
- What's not to like? Custard, good.
Jam, good. Meat, good!
Well, you don't look good, Joe.
Well, the fridge broke,
so I had to eat everything.
Cold cuts, ice cream, limes.
Hey, what was in that brown jar?
- That's still in there?
- Not anymore.
This piece doesn't have floor on it.
- Stick to your side.
- Hey, come on, now.
All right, what are we having?
I don't believe in these crazy diets.
Just everything in moderation.
Your muffins.
I'll take those to go.
For the kids.
I know what I wanted to ask.
They killed you off years ago.
What happened there?
I said some stuff in an interview
I shouldn't have said.
- But that is not gonna happen today.
- Understood.
- So, what'd you say back then?
- I said that I...
- Hey, Joey!
- How you doing?
This is Shelly. She's interviewing me.
Shelly, these are my friends.
Hi, I'm gal pal Rachel Green.
If you want the dirt, come to me.
This might be Joey's baby, who knows?
I'm just kidding.
Seriously, gal pal Rachel Green.
Who just lost the respect
of her unborn child.
I'