Excuse me, I wanted you to help.
But you couldn't move...
...because you were wearing
three life jackets.
You have to respect the sea.
Joey, I'm sorry if you thought
that was mean.
But I tell you, that was not mean.
My father is mean. He used to always
yell at me on the boat.
It was horrible.
I was being a really good teacher.
Does a good teacher say,
"Put down the beer, pinhead! "
Does a good student drink 7 beers
during his first lesson?
Six and a half.
You knocked the last
one out of my hand, remember?
I didn't want you to get hit
by the boom.
Well, it hit me anyway.
It would have hurt a lot less
if I had finished that last beer.
I'm sorry. I will try to tone it down
and stop yelling.
No bossing me around?
- I won't boss you around.
- And be nice?
- I'll be nice.
- You'll be topless?
- Joey!
- You want me to learn?
Here's batch 22.
Maybe these are like your grandma's.
This has a bit of orange peel,
but no nutmeg.
Let's give it a shot.
I haven't made so many cookies
since 9th grade.
What for, a bake sale?
No, just a Friday night.
These are pretty good.
Yeah, but not as good as batch 17.
Which one was that?
The ones we had after
you almost threw up.
Oh, yeah, batch 17 was good.
I did not like batch 16.
I'm okay.
Any more from the good batch?
We could work off those.
I think there's one left.
Batch 16.
Sixteen, people, get out of the way!
Okay, Joey. You're doing really good.
I just need you
to step to the portside.
Remember talking about the portside?
Oh, yeah.
No.
It's left, sweetie, but that's okay.
That's a tough one.
Why not just say left?
Okay, go to the left.
The left.
Just sit over there!
You're yelling again. See that?
Oh, no, no. Very quiet.
Said with love, no yelling.
You know what?
Since I'm here, I'm gonna have
a beer on the portside.
See what I did there?
We're luffing a little.
Can you tighten up the Cunningham?
You just said a bunch
of stuff I don't know.
Joey, come on!
We just went over this.
We did that when that bird...
...flew over with the fish
in his mouth.
Did you see it? It was gross.
I did not see the bird or the fish!
I did not see the piece of
Styrofoam shaped like Mike Tyson!
I did not, because I was trying
to teach you how to sail a boat.
Which obviously is
an impossible thing to do.
You're yelling, and I don't
see you taking your top off.
I quit!
- What do you mean? You can't quit.
- Why not?
You're not finished! I won't have it.
Greenes do not quit.
Greenes?
I'm a Tribbiani. Tribbianis quit.
Oh, my God.
I just said, "Greenes don't quit,"
didn't I?
Did I say, "Greenes don't quit"?
Yes! And you're still yelling at me.
No, I'm not yelling at you.
I'm just yelling near you.
Oh, God, Joey. I'm my father.
Oh, my God. This is horrible.
I try so hard not to be my mother,
I didn't see this coming.
I'm so sorry.
I just wanted you to learn.
I did learn.
- Really?
- Yeah, come on.
It's okay.
I know what a mainsail is.
I know to duck when
the boom comes across.
- I know port is right.
- Left.
Damn it!
It would make my grandmother happy...
...that we're trying
to figure out her recipe.
I bet she's looking up at us
and smiling right now.
Looking up?
She was really nice to me but
she's in hell for sure.
Well, I've tried everything.
I give up.
I'm not gonna be the mom...
...who makes the world's
best cookies.
I do make the best
duck confit with broccoli raab.
Kids love that, right?
Isn't there any relative
that has the recipe?
What about your sister?
No. I made a promise to
myself that the next time...
...I would talk to Ursula
is over my dead body.
And that's not happening
till October 15, 2032.
That's the day you're gonna die?
I've got shuffleboard that day.
That's what you think.
What about friends of your grandma?
Wouldn't they have the recipe?
I may have relatives in France
who would know.
My grandmother said she got it from
her grandmother, "Nestley