that I'm related to Monica.
- How is she?
- She doesn't know you're gone.
And she doesn't have to know.
Come on, we're going home.
- I can't do that.
- Why not?
If I go home,
we're gonna become the Bings.
I can't be the Bings.
What's wrong with it?
The Bings have bad marriages.
They yell, fight,
and use the pool boy...
...as a pawn in their sexual games.
Have you ever put on a black dress
and asked me up to your hotel room?
- No.
- Then you are neither of your parents.
It's not just their marriage.
Look at yours. Look at everybody's.
Only Paul Newman
can make marriage work.
And I am no Paul Newman.
I don't race cars or make popcorn.
None of my proceeds go to charity.
But look, Chandler...
...right now no one has
a lower opinion of you than I do.
But I totally believe you can do this.
I want to. I love her so much,
but I'm afraid...
It's too huge.
You're right. It is huge.
So let's take it
just a little bit at a time.
Forget getting married for a sec.
Can you just come home
and take a shower?
That's not scary, right?
Depends on what you mean by "we. "
The nights are the hardest.
But then the day comes...
...and that's every bit
as hard as the night.
- Then the night comes...
- Days and nights are hard, I get it!
I have to start getting ready.
I'm getting married today.
I know. At dusk.
That's such a hard time for me.
I'm gonna put makeup on.
We have to be there in an hour.
- Wait!
- What?
Let's go to lunch!
I can't go to lunch!
Right.
Oh, good God, I've fallen down.
What's going on?
All right, honey, listen.
When I tell you what I'm
about to tell you, remember...
...that we're all here for you,
and we love you.
Okay, you're really freaking me out.
We can't find Chandler...
His vest.
We can't find Chandler's vest.
How can that be?
Wait, are you serious?
Found the vest.
We'll have to keep an eye on it,
make sure we don't lose it again.
Oh, wow! Okay, don't
scare me like that, okay?
For a minute, I was like,
"Oh, my God! The worst has happened! "
So you two were married, huh?
What happened, you just drift apart?
Here comes the bride.
Oh, my God, Monica!
I want to wear this every day.
You look so beautiful.
I'm so happy for me.
- Hello?
- Did Chandler show up yet?
- We got him back. Everything's fine.
- Damn it!
- Where are you?
- I'm still on the set.
The wedding is in less than an hour.
I'm sorry. The guy's drunk.
They won't let me go until we get it.
Oh, my God. I'm gonna
have to find another minister.
No, I'm the minister!
Put them both on the phone
and I'll marry them right now.
Joey, I have to go.
Don't hang up on me! I'll marry you
and me right now! I have the power!
There you go! You put on a tuxedo!
That wasn't scary, was it?
No.
I'm telling you,
just a little bit at a time.
Okay. What's the next little bit?
Getting married.
You can do that too.
Just like you've done everything else.
Yeah, you're right. I can do that.
- Excuse me for a minute.
- Where you going?
I'm not gonna run away.
I just want some fresh air.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Oh, fresh air!
- Cover for me.
- Maybe you overreacted. You do that.
We gotta do something.
Joey won't make it, so I'll
look around for other weddings.
Don't tell them Monica's pregnant,
because they frown on that.
Okay.
Anastassakis Papasifakis Wedding.
Excellent.
Congratulations.
Hi! Oh, great hat.
I need you to perform another wedding.
Can you do that?
I don't know.
Are they Greek Orthodox?
Yeah. Yeah.
They're my friends,
Monica Stephanopolis.
And Chandler Acidophilus.
Has anyone seen Chandler?
- I thought he was with you.
- He was with me.
We're playing a game. Hide-and-seek.
You can't ask us, son.
That's cheating.
You're right.
Thanks for keeping me honest, Dad.
He can't come here and see
the bride in her wedding dress.
When we got married,
I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
That was after the wedding.
It's not bad luck then.
Honey, it isn't