d.. make myself omnipotent forever.
See, there's always one guy.  "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes."
Hey Joey. Hi. Hey, buddy.
Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Probably kill myself!
..Excuse me?
Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
Joey, uh- OMnipotent.
You are? Ross, I'm sorry..
How does she do that?
I cannot sleep in a public place.
Would you look at her? She is so peaceful.
Oh! What what what!
...Hi.
It's okay, y'know, you just nodded off again.
What's going on with you?
I got no sleep last night!
Why?
My grandmother has this new boyfriend,
and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf.
So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight.
Thanks.
...Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you!
Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.
You got waaaay too much free time.
Hey! Here's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out.
hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you.
Happy birthday, pal!
We love you, man.
Funny, my birthday was seven months ago.
So?
So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date?
Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Oh my God, oh- is today the twentieth, October twentieth?
Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't remember.
Ohhh.
What's wrong with the twentieth?
Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?
Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship.
Sex. ..
You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
The hell with hockey, let's all do that!
C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, Huh? Huh? Huh?
What are you doing?
I have no idea.
C'mon, Ross!
Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it.
Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?
You got it.
Look-look-look-look-look, my first pay check!
Look at the window, there's my name! Hi, me!
I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.
Wow, you worked in a mine?
I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?
God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally?
not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money?
I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Oh, this is not that bad.
Oh, you're fine, yeah, for a first job.
You can totally, totally live on this.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, by the way, great service tonight.
Oh! Yeah!
Hockey!
Hockey! Hockey.
Rachel?
Oh my God!
I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.
What are you guys doing here?
Well, we were in the city shopping, and your mom said you work here, aaand it's true!
Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play.
Look at you, you are so big I can't believe it!
I know. I know! I'm a duplex.
So what's going on with you?
Well, guess who my dad's making partner in his firm?
And while we're on the subject of news..
Look, look, I have elbows!
...Poulet passes it up to Leetch!
Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass!
We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes.
Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first-
y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- Sorry. Sorry.
What?
Peach pit.
Yes, Bunny?
Peach pit. That night we, uh- we had-
-Peaches?
Actually, nectarines, but basically...
Could've been a peach.
Then, uh, then we got dressed, and I-I...
I walked her to the- the bus stop... I'm fine.
Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's!
What? Thought we were trying to find stuff.
So c'mon, you guys, tell me all the dirt!
Well, the biggest news is still you dumping