you, Grandpa.
Honey, why don't
you go inside...
and help Grandma
with lunch, okay?
Dad?
Uh... no!
- But maybe technically speaking.
- Dad!
Dad!
- Wait a minute!
- Dad! It is you!
This is a big surprise.
Dad, this is incredible.
I don't know what to--
We could use a drink.
Where'd you come from?
One of my fathers! You don't know
what this means to me.
Uh, Mr. Webster, I hope you are
happy with the vehicle...
we chose for
your little journey.
When you get near Houston,
phone 713-555-0342...
and ask for uh, uh,
Beetroot McKinley.
He will arrange to trade you a briefcase
for the merchandise in the trunk.
Thank you.
Mary Ann Benedict.
I haven't said that name
out loud for over 30 years.
Your mother was...
an amazing woman.
Oh, the times I've wondered what would
have happened if I'd have married her.
Why didn't you?
Oh, I asked her to.
She turned me down.
She said she was afraid...
to have any more children.
See, they told her
you had died at birth.
Who told her we died?
Mitchell Traven,
the guy with the clipboard.
He supervised the experiment
for the government.
He still runs a genetics lab
at Los Alamos, New Mexico.
I'll have to pay
him a visit.
Watch out for him.
He's kind of a dickhead,
if you know what I mean.
Dickhead?
No, I don't.
But... I'm learning.
I'm concerned about the time frame.
That's my private line, honey.
I'll take care of that.
You boys, excuse me.
Beetroot McKinley talkin'.
Who is this?
Uh, Webster.
I'm callin' from California.
I happen to have something--
Some merchandise
that you might want.
Well, bring it to me, son.
Let me enrich you.
Well, uh, Mr. Beetroot,
it's the amount
of enrichment...
that I wanted
to talk about.
Don't try and renegotiate
with old Beetroot, son.
Now look, Beetroot,
if we can't renegotiate,
we wither and die.
Look, there's no way,
Mr. Beetroot,
that I am going to deliver
any damn Cadillac...
unless I know for sure
that I have...
twenty for my cut.
Twenty! You little
shit-for-brains peckerwood!
You're out of your
goddamn, greedy mind!
- I guess that seems
a little high for you.
- Yeah!
I'm a reasonable man.
How about fifteen?
- The deal is five!
- Five?
I could do better
than five here.
If you can do better
than five million dollars,
well, then, son,
you take it.
Beetroot,
I'll see you in Houston.
After all, fair is fair.
I'll just have to find it in
my heart to live with your offer.
Well, good.
Five million!
Five million dollars!
Five mil-l-lion dollars!
Five million dollars!
Five, five million dollars!
Five million dollars!
Five m-m-million!
Cash, lots of cash.
Whoa!
Listen, the most amazing thing
has happened, Vincent.
- You scared the living shit outta me.
- I met one of our fathers.
He told me about
a man in New Mexico...
- who probably knows where Mom is.
- Oh, great! Yes!
- Listen, she didn't abandon you.
- No?
You know what I mean?
She didn't abandon you.
- She didn't even know you were born.
- Oh!
- They told her that I died.
- No kidding?
Look, Julius,
I'm in a hurry.
- You know Sammy, who gave me this car?
- Yeah.
You remember Sammy? He wants me
to take this car to Houston.
- So I'm gonna be gone a couple of days.
- Houston?
Hous--
- Hou-- No!
- You know something?
New Mexico's on
the way to Houston.
A lot of places are
on the way to Houston.
Use the house,
make some phone calls.
Throw wild parties.
Take advantage of your brother.
We have to see this man, Traven,
in New Mexico.
- No, we don't have to see
this man in New Mexico.
- Yes, we do!
And I'm coming with you.
We'll go see the man.
- I take a shower. I get my bags.
- Get your bags.
Be right out. Oh, boy!
I'll be here, bro.
Okay.
This place is a zoo!
Wait, wait.
- Happy birthday, Vince.
- Oh.
- Happy birthday, Vince.
- God.
- It's not my birthday.
Better late than never.
- Oh.
Look what Marnie
made for Julius.
- You baked?
- Yeah. Is Julius around?