some respect.
- Let's go.
Go. Get back in your seat.
I expected a little more
from a varsity letterman.
You're not fooling
anybody, Bender.
The next screw that
falls out is gonna be you.
- Eat my shorts.
- What was that?
Eat... my... shorts.
You just bought yourself
another Saturday, mister.
- Oh, I'm crushed.
- You just bought
one more right there.
Well, I'm free the Saturday
after that. Beyond that,
I'll have to check my calendar.
Good! Because it's gonna be filled.
We'll keep going.
You want another one?
Say the word. Just say the word.
Instead of going to prison,
you'll come here.
- Are you through?
- No.
I'm doing society a favor.
That's another right now.
So?
I've got you for the rest
of your life if you don't
watch your step.
You want another one?
Yes.
You got it! You got
another one right there.
That's another one, pal.
Cut it out!
Stop.
- You through?
Not even close, bud.
- You got one more right there.
- You really think I give a shit?
Another.
- You through?
- How many is that?
That's seven, including
the one when you asked
Mr. Vernon here...
whether Barry Manilow knew
he raided his closet.
- Now it's eight. Stay out of it.
- Excuse me, sir. It's seven.
Shut up, peewee.
You're mine, Bender.
For two months, I got ya.
I got ya.
What can I say?
I'm thrilled.
Oh, I sure that's exactly
what you want these people
to believe. You know something?
You ought to spend
a little more time trying to
do something with yourself.'...
and a little less time
trying to impress people.
You might be better off.
All right. That's it!
I'm gonna be
right outside those doors.
The next time
I have to come in here,
I'm cracking skulls.
Fuck you!
Fuck.
Wake up!
Who has to go
to the lavatory?
- That's real intelligent.
- You're right.
It's wrong
to destroy literature.
It's such fun to read.
And...
"Molay" really pumps my nads.
Moliиre.
I love his work.
Big deal. Nothing to do
when you're locked in a vacancy.
Speak for yourself.
Do you think I'd speak for you?
I don't even know your language.
Hey, you grounded tonight?
I don't know. My mom said I was.
My dad told me just to blow her off.
There's a big party at Stubby's.
His parents are in Europe.
It should be pretty wild.
Are you going to go?
Yeah?
- I doubt it.
- How come?
'Cause if I do what my mother
tells me not to do, it's because
my father says it's okay.
It's like this whole, big monster deal.
It's endless. It's a total drag.
It's like,
any minute, divorce.
- Who do you like better?
- What?
- You like your old man
better than your mom?
- They're both screwed.
No, I mean, if you had
to choose between 'em.
I don't know. Probably go live
with my brother.
I mean, I don't think either one
of them gives a shit about me.
- It's like they use me
to get back at each other.
- Ha!
- Shut up!
- You're just feeling
sorry for yourself.
Yeah, if I didn't,
nobody else would.
Oh, you're breaking
my heart. What?
Sporto?
You get along
with your parents?
Well, If I say yes,
I'm an idiot, right?
You're an idiot anyway.
But if you say you get along with
your parents, well, you're a liar too.
You know something, man?
If we weren't in school, I'd waste you.
Can you hear this?
You want me
to turn it up?
Hey, fellas, I mean...
I don't like my parents, either.
I mean, I don't...
I don't get along
with them when their idea
of parental compassiуn...
is just, you know,
wacko, you know.
Dork.
Yeah?
You are a parent's
wet dream, okay?
That's the problem.
Look, I can see you
getting all bunged up...
for them making you wear
these kind of clothes...
but, face it, you're
a neo-maxi-zoon-dweebie.
What would you be doing if
you weren't out making
yourself a better citizen?
Why