kids' things. Don't forget the rubber sheets and gerbils. I'll show you the home. That's a honey of a tree, Clark. Is it real? I dug it out of the ground myself. Is that a fact? Get out of there, Snots! Don't worry about it. A little tree water ain't gonna hurt him. Before we left, he drank a half a quart of Pennzoil. He lifted his leg the next mornin'... If he drinks the water out of there, the tree's gonna dry up. Come on out of there. Get out of there. Go in the kitchen and get something to eat. He's cute, ain't he? Only problem is, he's got a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg and just go to town. You don't want him around if you're wearing short pants. A word of warning, though. If he does lay into you, it's best to just let him finish. I can't believe you're actually standing here in my living room, Eddie. Never thought the day would come. I'm excited about it, too. It's a cryin' shame the older kids couldn't make it. I'll get that. Don't worry about it. It's okay. I got the daughter in the clinic getting cured off the Wild Turkey. The older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career. - College? - Carnival. You gotta be proud. Last season, he was a pixie dust spreader on the Tilt-O-Whirl. He thinks that maybe next year, he'll be guessing people's weight... ...or barking for the Yak Woman. - You ever see her? - No. She got these big horns growing right out above her ears. She's ugly as sin, but a sweet gal. And a hell of a good cook. Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? No, I'm doing just fine. Just glad to be here. When did you get the tenement on wheels? Oh, that? That's an RV. I borrowed it off a buddy of mine. He took my house, I took the RV. It's a good-looking vehicle, ain't it? It looks so nice parked in the driveway. It sure does. Don't you go falling in love with it. We're taking it with us when we leave here next month. Get Ed Leftic up here to look over these figures! Retooling. That's a great excuse. Retooling?! I'll retool you! Mr. Shirley, Merry Christmas. Who's that? It's me, Clark Griswold. What do you want? My wife and I just came up with a little something special. It's a gift. Put it over there with the others, Greaseball. By the way, I hope my report helped out at the trade show. I'm sure it did, Grisball. If you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of an important call. Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I'm waiting. This is a new non-caloric, silicon-based kitchen lubricant... ...my company's been working on. It creates a surface 500 times more slippery than cooking oil. We'll fly down the hill with this stuff. Has anyone ever used it on a sled? Not that I know of. Don't go puttin' none of that stuff on my sled, Clark. - You know the metal plate in my head? - How could I forget it. I had it replaced. Every time Catherine raved up the microwave... ...l'd piss in my pants and forget who I was. Over at the V.A., they had it replaced with a plastic one. That ain't as strong, so... I shouldn't go sailing down a hill... ...with nothing between the ground and my brain... ...but a piece of government plastic. You really think it matters, Eddie? The plate runs right underneath my part. Over here is nothing, but... ...if this gets dented, then my hair just ain't going to look right. I know the feeling. I better try this first. See how it works. Be careful there, Clark. Nothing to worry about, Eddie. Going for a new, amateur-recreational- saucer-sled land-speed record... Clark W. Griswold, Junior! Remember, don't try this at home, kids. I am a professional. Later, dudes. Let her rip. Hang ten. It's great! I'm dead! Bingo. - You're staying late? - Hi, Bill. Yeah. Just... ...finishing up a few things. Last day of the year ------------------------------ Читайте также: - текст Великая война демонов на английском - текст Новый мир на английском - текст Семейное дело на английском - текст Дом дураков на английском - текст Вижу Землю! на английском |