Yes, sir. Thank you. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass.
Happy Hanukkah.
Can I show you something?
I was just smelling... Smiling.
I was just blouse... Browsing.
For your wife or your girlfriend?
What? What happened?
I guess it wouldn't be any...
Wouldn't be the Christmas shopping
season if stores were less hooter...
Hotter than they are.
- It is warm in here.
- You have your coat on.
- Yes. Oh, do I? How did that happen?
- Because it's cold out.
Yes. Yes. It is. It's a bit nipply out.
I mean, nippy out.
What did I say, nipple?
- There is a nip in the air though.
- Can I take something out for you?
I was just... I was just looking
at something for my wife.
- God rest her soul.
- Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
Oh, no, no, she's not dead.
We're just divorced. She's history.
Obviously she doesn't wear underwear.
There are plenty of shopping days left...
.. until adultery... Adulthood.
Which is to say Christmas, as in Yule.
Yule log. Not a log, I don't have a log.
But, I mean, you know, if I had a log...
.. not in the sense that you think
I said I did. Good golly.
'Tis the season to be merry.
- Well, that's my name.
- No shit.
What do these do? Do they clip on here?
Down there?
- Would you like this one?
- Sure.
These are cut really high on the hip.
Look, I'm wearing something similar.
See? You can't see the line.
- You can't see the line, can you, Russ?
- No.
No.
That's a Christmas present
from a very dear friend of mine.
Look, Daddy, teacher says
every time a bell rings...
.. an angel gets his wings.
Folks! Folks! Folks! Merry Christmas.
- Hey! How you doing, son?
- Fine.
There he is! Oh, my boy.
- Look at how big you've gotten.
- Merry Christmas.
- Mom.
- Sweetheart.
Oh, knock on the door.
Lift up the ladder.
- Listen. Doesn't Nora look old?
- You promised.
- Of course I do.
- They took a pint of fluid out of my back.
Do you see this mole?
This mole on my neck?
- Think it's changing color?
- No.
- You keep touching it, it's getting redder.
- I got hemorrhoids. Can you believe that?
- Oh, Mother.
- Isn't that terrible?
- You're not getting the garage space.
- After what you did...
I'm doing the parking.
Russ, you want to help?
Mom, they're not sleeping in my room.
I'm gonna go crazy, Mom.
Sweetheart. Your grandma Nora's
got a real painful burr on my heel.
If you rub it for me,
I'll give you a whole quarter.
- A quarter. A quarter.
- I'll give Audrey a quarter too.
- I'm gonna put my car in the garage!
- He damaged my car, you believe that?
I'll park the cars.
This is what Christmas is all about.
I'll park the cars
and check the luggage...
.. and yeah, I'll be outside for the season.
We're gonna have the best-looking house
in town.
- I've always wanted to do this.
- That's a lot of lights, Dad.
I'm sure it's a lot of work too,
but if I'm out in the cold...
.. and I'm committed to decorating
the house, I'm gonna do it right...
.. and I'm gonna do it big.
You want something you can be proud of,
don't you?
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Sure you do.
- You think you might be overdoing it?
- When did I last overdo anything?
Come on, unravel these.
You have to check every bulb.
Got a little knot here. You work on that.
I'll get the other box.
- I hope he falls and breaks his neck.
- I'm sure he'll fall.
But I don't think we're lucky enough
to have him break his neck.
Let's go.
Boy, these winds appear to be playing
havoc with that giant nutcracker float.
At this point I can't even see the nuts.
They must have blown away.
But nothing is going to dampen the spirit
of this holiday crowd, I can tell you that.
Oh, here they are. Here come the nuts.
These look like giant nuts to me.
Yeah, I'm reminded of a couple years
ago, the winds were so high here...
.. we almost lost Santa's reindeer.
Rudolph's red nose took out a third floor
window at Marshall Field'