just in a real police station
and this is much nicer.
Hey, Slater, it's your ex-wife on two.
You stay. She's always calling me.
Hello, sweetheart, how are you?
It's so nice to hear your voice.
- Oiler, you're partnered up with Waterman.
- Give me a partner, Sarge.
That is right.
Yep. Of course. No, just as you say.
Yep.
Krause, you're teamed up with the rabbi.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
- Practice!
John Practice, you old SOB.
What are you doing away from Washington?
The bureau thinks something strange
is going on between...
And this is top secret...
I know. The Vivaldi mob is joining forces
with the Torellis.
Damn it, Jack, how do you do that?
Well, I'm not parked behind a desk all day
eating those donuts.
Those are government donuts, my friend.
It's not easy work. I got to call DC.
Good for you.
Watch it, Jack. He killed Mozart.
- In a movie?
- Amadeus. It won eight Oscars.
I saved his life in Nam.
I'll make sure to be on the lookout. Thanks.
Now, no more movies!
Slater!
I got the city council chewing my eggs off
for that plane you crashed!
I got the mayor scheduling parades,
up my Lincoln tunnel
for that stunt you pulled on the beach!
Everybody wants to know,
what it is, what it ain't and what it will be!
- Do I make myself clear?
- I'm just doing my job.
You've given this department
the worst reputation in the country.
Now I've got the Chamber of Commerce
doing cartwheels in my cocoa factory.
Radcliff, you're pulling duty
with the animated cat.
Hiya, toots.
- I'm getting a flea bath later. Join me?
- You touch me again, fur ball...
- Wait! I can prove this is a movie.
- Who the hell are you, kid?
Look out there, there's a cartoon cat.
He's supposed to be back on duty.
He was only suspended for a month.
Now, shut up.
Listen to what I'm saying.
An animated cat just walked
into the squad room. Hello.
He'll do it again tomorrow.
So what's your point?
- That cat is one of the best men I got!
- Yeah.
Now who is this twerp?
And why is that smile on his face?
I just love the way you two fight,
knowing how you really feel
about each other.
Pray tell, just how do I feel about
this weird-looking sack of puppy poop?
You're dearest friends.
After your wife left you for the circus midget
and Jack told everyone he drove her to
New England to the diphtheria clinic.
When he came back, you said,
"You saved me from public humiliation,
Jack.
"You're my dearest friend."
- And you promised me you wouldn't tell.
- I didn't.
- Then how did he know?
- Jack Slater I.
- What's winning got to do with this?
- No! The very first Jack Slater.
You told your dad?
I didn't tell anyone.
I don't even know this kid.
Well, he seems to know a lot about us.
No such number. No such name.
The state of New York's never heard of you,
Mr. Madigan.
- What's your real name?
- Danny Madigan.
- Where are you really from?
- 355...
- How did you get in the car?
- I...
I fell off a walk over a bridge.
Slipped into your car.
He saved my life.
Truth at last. Now, why were they after you?
My second cousin Frank
found out some crucial drug information.
I wouldn't put too much faith
into what Vivaldi told him.
- How do you know Frank mentioned Vivaldi?
- I know a lot about what's going on.
Now if you will just listen to me...
All right, son,
I've got the perfect listener for you.
- Meet your new partner.
- Oh, no.
Better to die.
You're going to love it, Jack. I mean,
we're perfect buddy-movie material.
I'll teach you to be vulnerable,
you'll teach me to be brave.
Hi. I'm Jack Slater's new partner.
Jack and I will be working together
for the duration of the film.
You know I'm right.
If this was the real world, I mean,
they wouldn't make me your partner.
They'd assign me to a social worker.
Here's one.
Tell me how I know they tortured Frank
and then stashed him behind his front door.
Because I saw it all on screen,