funeral parlor once.
Yeah, it was terrible too.
I was all distraught and everything.
The wife and I, we left the little
tyke there in the funeral parlor.
All day. You know, we went
back at night, when we...
...came to our senses,
there he was.
Apparently, he was there
all day with a corpse.
Now, he was okay.
You know, after six, seven weeks.
He came around
and started talking again.
They get over it.
Kids are resilient like that.
We shouldn't talk about this.
I was just trying to cheer you up.
I'm sorry I did.
Mom?
Mom?
Kevin!
Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry.
Where's everybody else?
Oh, baby, they couldn't come.
They wanted to so much...
I didn't fall asleep in the back
and drool all over you, did I?
- You do drool!
- Shut up!
Kevin, my boy. How are you?
You're all right.
I love you. You okay?
It's cool that you didn't
burn the place down.
Thanks, Buzz.
Wait a minute.
How'd you guys get home?
On the morning flight you didn't
want to wait for.
- Oh, no. Oh! Thank you.
- Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Someone has to find an open store.
I went shopping yesterday.
You, shopping?
I got some milk, eggs
and fabric softener.
- What?
- No kidding?
What a funny guy.
What else did you do
while we were away?
Just hung around.
Bring your stuff upstairs.
He went shopping? He doesn't know how
to tie his shoe. He's going shopping?
Honey, what's this?
Kevin! What did you do
to my room?Where's my suitcase?
Miss. Young lady!
Excuse me. Girls!
Hey, little fella. Hey!
Excuse me, girls. Girls!
Hey, big fella!
Help me make the beds
in the living room.
Come on down here!
Hey, son!
Big fella.
Hey, little guy! Little guy!
Pete's brother
and his family are here.
Trish is going to Montreal.
Montreal? Oh, her family's there.
- Then we're off.
- When?
- Tomorrow.
- You're not ready, are you?
Uncle Frank won't let me
watch the movie...
...but the big kids can.
Why can't I?
I'm on the phone.
When do you come back?
Not till then?
It's not even rated R.
He's just being a jerk.
Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no...
...then it must be really bad.
No, we put the dog in the kennel...
Hey, get off!
Kevin, out of the room.
Hang up the phone and make me,
why don't you?
This kid.
Did you pick up
a voltage adaptor thing?
No, I didn't have time.
- Then how do I shave in France?
- Grow a goatee.
Dad, nobody'll let me do anything.
I've got something, pick up those
MicroMachines that are all over.
Aunt Leslie almost broke her neck.
He was playing
with the glue gun again.
We talked about that.
Did I burn down the joint?
I don't think so.
I made ornaments out of fish hooks.
- My new fish hooks?
- I can't make them out of old ones...
...with dry worm guts stuck on them.
- Peter.
- Come on, Kevin. Out.
Do you guys have a voltage adaptor?
Here's a voltage adapter!
God, you're getting heavy!
Go pack your suitcase.
Pack my suitcase?
- Where's the shampoo?
- I don't live here.
This many people here and no shampoo.
- Are your folks home?
- They don't live here.
- Tracy, did you order the pizza?
- Buzz did.
Excuse me. Are your parents here?
My parents live in Paris.
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Are your parents home?
- Yeah.
- Do they live here?
- No.
Why should they?
All kids, no parents.
Probably a fancy orphanage.
I don't know how to pack a suitcase.
I've never done it once.
- Tough.
- That's what Megan said.
What did I say?
You told him "Tough."
The dope was whining about a suitcase.
What was I supposed to say?
"Congratulations, you're an idiot"?
- I'm not an idiot!
- Really?
You're helpless! We have to do
everything for you.
- She's right, Kev.
- Excuse me, puke-breath. I'm small.
I don't know how to pack.
- I hope you didn't just pack crap.
- Shut up, Linnie.
You know what I should pack?
Buzz told you, cheek-face.
Toilet paper and water.
What are you so worried about?
You know Mom's