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Золотой телёнок

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nothing.
What a wonderful night!
- Who do you think you are?
- No, who do you think you are?
I think I disturbed you. It seems to me
you were busy on the floor.
Oh, it was money you were dividing?
Pray, continue -- it's interesting.
I shall watch.
I wanted it done honestly and fairly.
In equal parts -- 2.5 thousand apiece.
You, Ostap Ibrahimovich,..
...him,..
...Kozlevich...
...and me.
10 thousand? Good. Mr.Koreiko's salary
for 20 years of faultless service.
Now let Panikovsky divide.
He seems to have his own opinion
on the subject.
I do have my own opinion.
As if I've never divided the money.
As if I've never divided mere 10 thousand.
As if this is real money, just 10 thousand.
To me. To Ostap Ibrahimovich.
To me. To...
I'm leaving. Right now.
To Kiev. By express train.
To me. To him. To me.
To Ostap Ibrahimovich. To me.
So?
You and I get 4 thousand apiece.
And Balaganov two.
He hasn't earned even those two!
But Kozlevich?
Why give anything to Kozlevich?
That's robbery!
Who is this Kozlevich that
we should divide with him?
We don't know any Kozlevich!
Have you finished? - Yes.
What has Kozlevich-Shmazlevich to do with it?
And now I shall show you
how it should be done.
- Honestly and fairly?
- Fairly.
Stop joking, Bender!
Let's divide it fairly.
I have no desire to jest with you
at this late hour.
What did we work for then?
That's not right. Explain yourself.
We tried -- me and Michael Samuelievich.
To you, seeing that you are the favorite son
of the lieutenant, I can repeat only...
...that we didn't come here for 10 thousand.
Of thousands, I alone need at least 500.
Why did you send us then?
- The point is, Shura...
Who do you think you are?
...that I'm not a bandit.
I respect the criminal code.
I'm a high-principled fighter for currency.
This was merely a test.
Consider: a clerk with a salary of 46 rubles
has 10 thousand rubles in his pockets.
This presents us with great opportunities.
Tomorrow I shall return the 10 thousand
to Koreiko and he will take it.
And precisely here will come his downfall.
I shall take him with my bare hands.
Being a wise man, he'll understand
that a part is less then the whole,..
...and for fear of losing all
he will give me that... part.
And at this point, Shura, there will appear
a certain little plate with a certain little... what?
Border... You're right!
- Why are you crying?
- Give me back my money! I'm so poor!
I haven't had a bath for a year!
And I'm old.
Girls don't like me.
I refer you to the Universal League of Sexual Reform.
Perhaps there they will help you.
- Nobody loves me!
- How could anybody love you?
Girls don't love the like of you.
They love young, long-legged,
politically literate ones.
When you die no one will write
about you in the newspapers:
"Another comrade has killed himself with work."
Or ''Death tore comrade N away from our rangs"
And no beautiful widow with Persian eyes
will sit on your grave.
And no weeping children will ask,
" Papa, papa, do you hear us?"
Don't talk like that! I'll outlive all of you!
You don't know Panikovsky!
Panikovsky will yet sell and buy you all!
And then sell again -- but at a higher price.
You had better tell me
whether you want to go on working or not.
I'm asking you for the last time.
I want to.
Citizen Koreiko?
Yes.
Alexander Ivanovich?
Quite so.
Please, be seated.
- I've come to you on an errand.
- If you please.
- We want to please you
- I am curious to know how.
I don't smoke.
Exactly 10 thousand. Count'em if you want.
- Will you please signed a receipt for it?
You are mistaken, comrade.
What 10 thousand? What receipt?
You were robbed yesterday evening,
weren't you?
No one robbed me.
Yesterday evening by the sea!
And they took 10 thousand.
The robbers were arrested!
One is an old man. Signed the receipt!
So help me God, nobody robbed me.
Evidently this is a mistake.
Sorry, I'm have to go to
Золотой телёнок Золотой телёнок

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